4 days

It getting closer...
Today was exhausting! At work only I would have a co-worker who does not realize the stress I am currently carrying is ALL work related. Even if I say it for the millionth time. Considering I hold a huge responsibility and so much to do before I am away from the office. I have not had a chance to think of all the wedding things while at work, I have been too crazed with statements, phone calls, rescheduling, and e-mailing ridiculousness. I long for tomorrow night so that I can relax- hopefully, and not have to deal with crazy people or the crazy things at work.
I just hope to continue sailing thru the next couple of days. The heat subsides a little and the fun begins. Who has a slip and slide? I feel like my inner 11 year old needs to make an appearance.
My adult self did make an appearance at the mall, met up with Sarah bought some wedding under garments, caught up (even if I just saw her Friday), had dinner and just had great conversation. That's a big part of life- great companionship and conversation brought together by food. Don't forget I still love food. Hopefully my dress still fits. We will find out in 4 days...

5 days

It's Monday, I am working this week up until Wednesday then I am home free to enjoy the family and start enjoying the long weekend. I am still very excited to see all the hard work, time and money on display. It's been hard to envision everything in place and displayed for all to enjoy. I have been working very hard on getting all the items/decorations in their positions and to know all the hard work has been worth it. I am ready to relax for just even a half day. I hope all of our guests enjoy the day with us.

Still 6 days

Today, I had a moment, a wow moment I guess I can call it. At church today it felt like any other day. After some of the praise portion started they had kids from vacation bible school present a song that they learned during last week. I got a little teary eyed, my heart melted. It reminded me of what's to come and also my childhood. It re-affirmed my long lost desire to having a child. I am looking forward to what's ahead and to try and stop planning it all. I cannot imagine all the work that is to come in our marriage but I plan on working on it everyday, I want it to be the greatest story. An adventure that I get to share with my great love, Darren. I did not know I had that emotion in me, the longing and desire. We have talked about plans for a family but today hit me in my heart. I told Darren about that feeling, how I feel we will be great parents and that I am looking forward to us experiencing it together. I don't think he realized what I said or even processed it, but I meant it with all my heart. Just 6 more days...

Countdown...

We are down to one week before our wedding, at this time next Saturday we will be married.  So, this is what we did to relax last weekend, it was Toronto Honda Indy race, vineyards and lots of walking.

Darren & I enjoyed a bulk of Free Friday in the Dr Pepper stands, and we got our free sodas.

Justin Wilson's team in the garage.

We walked around And found a swan couple with their babies

Of course the vineyards were next on, our list, Saturday was my day to do things.

Wined out by the time we reached our last stop.

My first visit to the CN Tower.

Before the race we had some snacks.

Justin Wilson and the team had a crash towards the end of the race and it cost him a top 5 spot.

Great time!

6 Days...

These are a few things that...

I am excited about:
-our next getaway
-3 day weekends
-receiving my wedding shoes, they are in Illinois right now
-22 days until the wedding
-seeing my sister Gina
-seeing all the hard work in place at the wedding
-working with our photographer
-Mani/pedis with Rachel & Sarah
-moving all of our wedding decoration items out
-wedding cake
-seeing my family
-sporting my DVF vintage dress
-finally putting on THE dress

I am sure there are more but for now these are some things on my mind

To lift you up

Recently there have been a variety of stresses that have taken me to a low point in different days, this song by Matthew West lifted me up.

How to say thank you for...

Sometimes a thank you does not feel sufficient.  I am thinking of this as the love that surrounds me is constant and overwhelmingly beautiful.  Thank you does not seem enough for the hard work, love, patience.  The thoughtfulness, love, and time that goes into everything.  I am surrounded by the family that raised me- my grandparents, parents and aunts.  They helped found my beliefs and values.  
I have become the woman that I am because of the amazing ladies who have paved a path for me.  
And now as an adult I have found more wonderful people that have become a part of my support system.  It's so grand to feel the love.  I am beyond grateful for the blessings of our family and friends.  

recently...

I know its been way too long, but this is what I have been up to...

We visited with Shana and the boys, always an adventure and time to catch up.

We only had one nephew at the Easter Egg Hunt, and Caleb seemed to enjoy himself.

I went to the Bend for family time/ bridal shower.  I love my niece, even if at times I had to bribe her with food, generally going for fruit snacks and my entire cupcake-she refused to share.  She truly has a personality now.  She is palying with her Easter bag and Eze's.

We had ice cream cake~ my fave!

And their were gifts, cards, and well wishes as we continue on our journey to marriage.

After being up since 7am, at 8pm I was toast. Drinks were in order.

On occassion we have a set of ducks that come to the house to be fed by Darren.

Just this past weekend I spent time with some great ladies for Alumnae training at the Purdue Phi Mu house.  I gained tons of valuable knowledge and hope to incorporate some into our Alumnae chapter in the coming years.

Another busy weekend to come, and hopefully more to show and say in the coming days.

Growth

Ever feel lost and overwhelmed? Just overworked and before you know it the exhaustion hits you. It takes over when you least expect it to, when you think the moment has passed, the point of feeling lost has gone away- and then the moment of true relief comes.  It come in a teary hello, a heartbreaking well of tears.  The hugs and love that you long for are with you all along but you forget until you feel it squeeze and hold you up.  
That's the feeling I get when I have had a long, tiring day.  Even the things that are enjoyable can overwhelm me.  In the end it steers it's head at me and let's me know I have had enough.  I have met my match, emotionally & physically.  I have put too much of me into a more than me project.  I have invested more than I had to begin with, it's time to let it out & let it go.  
It's been an exceptionally tough week for me.  Fighting for who I am, want to be and the way I live my life.  
For as long as I can remember I have known what I wanted for myself-expectations, goals, desires.  I lived for me, my mindset has been on becoming a stronger, better me.  A me that was beyond the greatness that I knew.  So when life made a major detour and has become about more than just my future I found my greatest struggle.  Turning a me and my desires into an us and our plans.  I never thought about the what if's, I  was okay with imagining a life on my own and the freedom of picking and choosing what was good was a relief.  It's hard, even after 3 years, to think in any other way.  Some things come easy while choosing my battles has become a tough place.  Somehow at the end of it all I just need to feel the warmth, the human in me and realize that life is about changing, evolving, adapting, accepting, listening and loving.  It's the way to move on and grow.

Big

Recently some of my cousins have been taking pictures in big, bug eyed glasses and posting them on facebook.  This is a walk through memory lane with my family and the in style big, rose colored glasses.

My aunt Naomi, I like calling her Tia Naomi mostly because it makes her feel older.

My Cousin Jesse at the Left, was sporting his big glasses.

Now here, a trio. From top, Cousin Jesse, my mom, and Tia Tere.

At the right, my Tia Tere, again, big glasses.

My mom, in our family picture, they had a rose tint to them.

And again

Cousin Jesse started the trend at an early age.

My Tia Tere, sporting them at a family event.

From one generation to the next.