In pen

I miss my life, the life plan I wrote in pen (in my head) and is now all scribbled on. My life plan included working in graphic design, with a passion to be great and to continue learning, demanding the most of my myself in a tough field. That passion is gone, sadly I cannot even recall what it felt like to strive, to have a great desire. My career was going to be my life because I worked hard for it and am still paying for it. Life plan in pen was supposed to make me a better person, even at the cost of high stress and high workload. To continually work towards establishing a life that would be busy but rewarding. I was willing to give up my social life to be great and work among great people, hopefully.
Maybe I should write it all out, goals to reach, to re-evaluate and begin working towards reaching my life plan in having a great career that will challenge me, allow for growth, make me feel valued, and make a great difference for that organization, the people around me and myself.

So ready to unplug

I am getting really excited about our trip.  Mostly because I am ready for some relaxation, to be disconnected from the world, some sun and sleep.
I have recently been thinking about how great it will be for Darren and I to unplug from our comforts.  No tv, phone, Internet. Atleast I think- not sure what all goes on with a cruise.  We can catch up on our reading, really listen to each other without distraction, take in everything around us and immerse ourselves in the experience.  Maybe it will push us in the near future to unplug from the unnecessary extras in life and make time to enjoy other activities.  
Darren is addicted to words game on the iPod, so addicted- atleast to me, that I am ready to unplug and take on the challenge.  Now all I have to do before we leave is figure out how to shut off my Internet and phone settings to only use the camera on my iPhone.

Soon

I am so ready and getting more excited about our vacation/honeymoon, 30 days.  Please come soon, I do not want to wish away days, moments or experiences but I am pretty high strung right now with all that is going on around me.  Mostly work related, some consecutive days off I hope will do great things and be refreshing for me besides make me not want to come back to work. 
Let me tell you about stress, I am and can be a high stress person. I like things done well, the best I can. In order, timely manner and without excuse. Or atleast admit your mistakes instead of dodging them- we are after all human and have our moments.  I get frustrated with myself and am continually working to be better at work, home and all around.  That is my rant.
In short I am ready for a new challenge and a break.

Getting there

I don't get very excited about a lot of things. But some things I can get pretty revved up for.  
1 I am finally beginning to look forward to the cruise. Maybe the need for a getaway and the chance to wear a swimsuit in November is making it look so great. And plus I highly enjoy flying. 
But this weekend I get to have a slumber party with my girlfriends, a person is never to old for a slumber party. I really need the company and love the company.  It truly is a great feeling for me to be surrounded by love by the family and friends who give of it so freely.  How wonderful it will be.

Tia

Aunt: the sister of one's mother or father. http://i.word.com/idictionary/aunt
An aunt is a person who is the sister or sister-in-law of a parent. http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aunt

I have been thinking about the meaning of the word aunt, what it means to be an aunt. One I feel that I am too young to be an aunt, and how different of a feeling is to be an aunt at a distance as opposed to how I was raised with my aunts so nearby. I get to spoil my niece with sweets, clothing, books and toys while I get to spend time with Darren's nephews. Sometimes it's hard, to be so far away from Tegan, I long to hear her babbling, trying to teach her the word tia, as I am sure my name will take awhile longer. I long to connect with my niece the way that I had with my aunts growing up. Even almost two years later it is still hard to swallow the word tia or aunt and I hope to fulfill the role, responsibility and have a great relationship throughout their lives. It's hard when they grow so fast.

Thoughts

Month 2 and no additional weight has been put on. Slightly not surprised, I have increased my weights but my workout schedule has been haphazard the last couple of weeks. I will continue to work on it and creating the balance I have recently let go due to other obligations. I may also need to increase my snack/meal and protein intake.

I have been thinking about a ton of different things, the future, trying to see past all the issues that I never have been surrounded by before. I worry about the things I cannot control because I see others struggling. I wonder about my health decisions, finding a place to call my career. I want to prepare for what is to come but know that what's to come will be faced as it comes our way.

Three

As of today Darren has caught 3 mice. One of the mice was caught before entering the garage.  Darren was out doing housework and it was scurrying to the garage, in the end after the struggle it has found a home under ground.  So Mrs. D definitely had it pegged, we thought there was one but as she stated they come in 2, 3 or more.  Darren heard no noises while cleaning the garage and doing yard work today, so hoping the end of visits from these little guys is coming soon. 

On a hunt

Darren is on a mission.  A mission to catch a mouse.  He recently saw it scatter across the garage and on Sunday he placed 4 traps.  Nothing happened Monday but today he found the traps minus the peanut butter and cheese.  I had to fill up on fuel and at Darren's request I also went to pick up some more traps to add to the collection going on in the garage. We are now up to 6 traps.  
I think mice and anything that looks like a mouse, hamsters, gerbils are all disgusting.  They gross me out and I am mostly petrified of them.  So of course I have stayed away from the garage.  Hopefully tomorrow it will be caught and the mouse does not invite any friends over. 

Ouch

Still on my quest to get into the best shape possible and putting on the muscle. I started the abdominal exercises and I had one gym workout last week, it was a hectic and busy schedule. Every night after the initial ab workout that was an addition to my regular strength training I struggled getting into bed and comfortable. Needless to say getting back into my routine tonight I found that my lower abs are still sore, I was working on planks tonight and I could not hold for the whole minute on my 3 rep rotation. I hope to remember and find some other helpful exercises that will boost my results. I am excited to continue my journey. Although I have not started my running again, hopefully that will be added to my routine soon.

Up 2

So as of a couple of months I have been on a mission, a mission to put on weight but not just to put some pounds on but to put it on in the form of muscle. My goal initially was to put on 10lbs but now that I have put on the two I am rethinking that. I have been working very hard on increasing my muscles in my legs to ease pain and stress off of my back. I have been feeling such great satisfaction from working on my biceps, triceps and shoulders. The results are rewarding for me. My body has been a main focus throughout my life but not in always in a healthy way. I have been underweight according to BMI standards and it has no bothered me until we start talking family, with our plans for a family comes the need to live healthier and not have to scramble to put on weight when we decide to start. I want to put on the weight in a healthy manner and gradually. We are not rushing in any way but preparation is key. My goal for September is to start focusing on my abs. I will only be weighing myself on the first Saturday of each month, weight lifting 3 times a week and to gradually get back into running. I eat several healthy snacks, light lunches and will increase protein as part of meals. I have also been using chocolate milk as my recovery drink which is supposed to help when building muscle.
So as long as the scale is not lying and it was not a fluke, water weight or something else, I will consider myself on my way to putting on the muscle.