Just have to

I just have to brag a little bit, at this stage in my life I cannot imagine bragging about anything/anyone else than the amazing support that I have from my family and friends.  But of course Darren has been the biggest reason to brag about these days.  He makes me so happy, all the hard work that he puts out from his career to our home and marriage.  Darren has worried himself about my feelings of pain and has done all he can to make life at home easier.  He really took a big one this year with tax season.  He made almost every meal for those 3 months, rubbed my feet and back and so much more.  Being on this journey with him makes for great days and even more it makes for an easier pregnancy.  Although this may feel like an easy pregnancy compared to others I know or have read, there are times when the emotions just want to run, he has always been forewarned as to not catch him off guard.  He constantly supports us, makes us laugh and has taken the time to cuddle and talk with me even if he was not ready for bed.  All the small things that make it about us.  A couple weeks ago I got to take care of him in preparation for a half marathon, but with an illness taking over him it made my job a lot easier.  It reminds me to serve him and of course it is easier when he is down as we usually do it all together or individually.

Almost a month ago I got to spend some time with the family and close friends to celebrate Junior.  Needless to say my mom put a lot of work into it but as always others come around to help in preparing and wrapping it all up.  Good food, a lot of games and cake.  It was so great to be surrounded by the noise, jokes, conversation and laughter of my people.  The ones who have watched me grow, supported and celebrated so many milestones.

A week later we did it again, went out and celebrated Baby D one more time.  With college girlfriends and amazing women/friends that I have made along my journey.  Sarah threw a party centered around food and conversation-my kind of party.  She made it easy for everyone to enjoy themselves and hosted like no other, even for her first baby shower- she made it amazing!

Thanks to Amy, we were able to take maternity photos to capture this moment in our lives.  And in her procrastination of studying she gave us a sneak peek.  Looking forward to seeing some more of what she caught of us, hopefully some of Darren looking relaxed.  The hard part will be figuring out what will be displayed and how.  Amy, like most the people I know, is amazing!  In every way possible.

I am looking forward to sharing our little one with all of these amazing women.  I have been so blessed with family and friends that have made this journey so much more enjoyable and memorable.  Just under a month away from sharing the little squirmy child that we are so blessed to see move everyday.

Back to life

The Darren I met reappeared on Sunday, and by this I mean the man that wears cut off t-shirts and thinks it looks good.  After a good nap this past Sunday I found myself awakened by noise outside of our bedroom window and thinking it was the bunnies finding their way out I went to check but instead found Darren painting our fence and examining his work.  This made me smile, I cannot tell you how many times I have nodded at Darren as he tried to convince me how great a cut off is and I had to repeat to him time and again to get rid of those shirts.  Only once in the past 6 years can I recall letting him know that it might be a good day for a cutoff due to weather and our day’s events, only once, and I could not tell you whether he took that as a go ahead or passed it up altogether.  The shirts have slowly disappeared as his closet became more sweat wicking for all those runs and events.
I am telling you this because it made me so happy to know that I captured that moment that made me smile and appreciate that I have come back to our reality, we made it through our second tax season, spring has arrived, and I have never been so exhausted.
After a big weekend away on my own I was so glad to be home and to have spent lunch and the evening just the two of us, even made a big grocery trip to stock us up.  We have had a lot of nights of just being in front of the television and relaxing but our nights are now longer with my shorter hours and I finally made some dinners.  Darren took care of us during tax season but this was my week to conquer slowly.  Some laundry completed Monday and a lot of laying around as I realized it was only 5:00pm and I was done for the day.  Tuesday I made head way in the kitchen and dinner before we spent some time on Junior's room (its about 85% complete with things to wash and arrange), Wednesday it was dinner and small things and tonight dinner and some walking on the treadmill.  Hopefully I can keep it up and conquer a couple rooms tomorrow as we prepare for our last piece of furniture to arrive next week as well as meal plan to the max as I prepare Darren to the best of my abilities to his pickiness before his mini marathon.
It is so wonderful to be back at things again, to know that I can take care of us even though I am carrying around a squirmy little one.  Naps will be on the agenda with my 3 day weekends as well as some small preparations.  Just trying to enjoy us and the time we have together before we become a family of three.

Here we come Spring

So excited, busy season is about to wrap up, the weather is slowly evolving to the spring we have been long awaiting.  With spring came our weekend trip to Florida for the opening Indy Car race.  We survived had a great weekend away and then came back to reality.   Only bad part about this trip was that we took 1 picture.  That would be the absolute worst of us, we usually overtake photos but this time around at 7 months pregnant the exhaustion of traveling got the best of me and I just soaked in the days instead of documenting it all as usual.  But there would have been a lot of food photos, track photos and smiling ones that could have been taken to share.  With the traveling I was lucky enough to inherit swollen feet, so lucky to feel the pain and discomfort that I did not even think about being a part of this trip but it was.  My feet were so big and even though walking was nice it was also slightly painful.  Thankfully I have a wonderful husband in Darren and my feet are rubbed every night before this retention of water occurred, and since it occurred, during this trip my ankles also got some attention as they were almost unrecognizable.  I was going to take photos but it kinda grossed me out how much my feet had changed in less then 12 hours.  I also made a bad choice in not pack walking/tennis shoes, I only wear tennis shoes to workout but this time around the extra support of those or my boat shoes would have helped.  Lesson learned.
Flying back home alone was slightly scary as I am so pregnant but it went well.  Gaining a seat in the emergency exit row helped me stretch my legs and rotate my ankles for comfort.  I got to relax after being in the office and the swelling went away in a couple days time of being back to my normal routine and additional foot elevation.  It was nice to not have the swelling continue longer with as busy as we are in the office and to get things done around the house.
My schedule has loosened up from what it originally was set at the beginning of March but it is more than welcome as I can relax more and not overwhelm myself.  But we are about to hit another streak of crazy weekends.  Once tax season ends naps will be a mandate every 3 day weekend I can get it in, as I also scheduled myself tight for the following 2 weekends before Darren runs and we will both make time for naps that Saturday.
As it seems life is busy but extremely wonderful, I could not ask for anything more, except more hours for sleep.  Soon.  About to enter week 31with Junior kicking and punching in the ribs to make sure we are aware of how things are going, very great.

And the final Countdown...

Third Trimester has begun.  I am very excited even with all that we have to complete, slowly it will get all done.  But as we head into our final months of waiting for baby D to arrive we have a ton of things coming up, with every Saturday booked for me until baby comes.

This has been quite the journey, lots of different changes and feelings as I have been growing with little one moving quite a bit.  I did make it through our entire co-ed volleyball season through church, but this last Sunday's tournament took a toll on my body.  Still no cravings, but figuring out what sounds good for meals is unbelievably hard that it just comes down to what was purchased at the grocery and is easy to make after being in the office all day.  Too much to get taken care of, room is nearly finished with minor cleaning to be finished.  We will be doing our online class for birth pointers but first getting through the remaining weeks of tax season, which has been very busy.  

First day we knew

                           

October 26th

December 25th

February 27th

March 19th

Looking forward to spring actually meeting us and for the sun to show up for longer periods of warmth.  Would love to get another bike ride in before it really gets unbearable.  Taking it easy as much as possible but naps are hard to come by with our busy weekends.  

My parents, sister and niece were in town a few weeks ago.  Dad helped with Darren's tiling the basement while mom and sis worked on dusting and other cleaning items I have not had a chance to do or even more just too exhausted to take care of.  Tegan helped put babies shelving system then watched as I put clothing away.  Tegan poked at my belly trying to get the baby to move for her but instead she just pushed into my belly button which she enjoyed.  Stated she was "messing with the baby."  Of course after they left and I finally got to lay down and baby D was moving like crazy.  Tegan has also put in her prediction, baby D is a girl according to her.  So we will tally the votes as we get closer, until then baby D will have to deal with being called Junior by us. More cleaning is slowly getting done every weekend since my parents have been here and feeling accomplished in knowing that it will get be completed with time.

               

Realization

Recently I realized just how different life has changed for me.  So many times I think about the upcoming greatness that will be as our family expands and I think about how 3 years ago it was with other people that I was walking through the stages from dating, engaged and then married. As those people faded away I have gained new relationships that will carry me further into our lives as parenthood.  I just allowed the changes keeping faith that it was all for a reason and just letting go, to stop questioning, stop wondering and even more to not have resentment or regret that my life closed a very impactful chapter to allow me to have the best marriage and to open myself to what was laying in front of me that I had hardened my heart from.  As I enter this next great, blessing filled chapter I know now that things will continue to change and my relationships will continue to evolve.

105 Days

105 days to go until we meet our bundle of blessings.  We are at week 25 today, last week hitting the 6 month mark was very exciting.  I am not certain just why as there is still a lot more in front of us but maybe it was knowing that I was into another month of carrying our very active little one.  It has been a bad week for heartburn, after some calmness it has riled up to its usual self and that is quite uncomfortable.  I did get to see externally the movement that is going on inside, just sitting waiting for the bank teller to give me my slips and as I was looking down there it was, the kick or punch that our wee one desired to share with me in the moment of calmness.  We have an appointment in 2 weeks and get closer to seeing her more often as the pregnancy winds down.  I never even thought about all the questions that concern the birthing process and thankfully those have been answered or will be asked, there is a relief when you hear an answer and just know that it is going to all work out somehow with minimal surprises.

Baby's room has not had much progress and still sits at about the 45% completion but other things are getting taken care of and even more I have had some energy after a long day at the office to get around to items that I keep ignoring.  Next step is to build our cube organizer, clean what is left from office use and decide which books stay or need to be donated from my collection and that will get us another 10% closer in the room being finished up.  Vinyl letters, are the most horrific thing to put up.  My arm was getting a real workout that day as we kept seeing letters not stick completely but the good news is that it has stayed up since then, glad I did not buy 2 phrases for the house.

Photo to come soon.

Let me tell you

How happy I am that we are about 45% ready for baby to enjoy its new room.  Things are put together with only one more to purchase and one to put together before I try to call it quits on buying our baby essentials.
I am still in my regular clothes, with only one maternity shirt that my sister in law passed over.  Thank goodness for owning so many dresses and loose blouses, so glad that style suites me.  I even have one pair of jeans that button completely and actually have to wiggle up as they move around as the day goes on.  This makes me so happy because I am dreading having to shop for clothes that I will only wear for a little bit before baby comes.
Like I mentioned above, babies big needs are almost completely rounded out and I got to spend some time today with my wonderful, wise SIL.  Founds some great deals and had some ladies time as we perused the baby store.  I have this thing about being in charge and getting things done in a timely manner and Darren has been a great help in making it all come together.
As of tomorrow I will have made it through 4 weeks of intramural volleyball at 23 weeks pregnant.  Darren seems to be the most paranoid, asking how I am feeling and if I can handle that weeks competition.  We are still lifting and on the bike, although I am now keeping steady at certain weights way below where I was prior to being pregnant but I am happy that I can keep it up.  Last week I had to squat with my barbell and there was no hiding baby, it was so empowering!  I can do this.  And thanks to my SIL, she has given me the encouragement to know that after baby comes I can make it all work to get back in shape.  She is a true testament of someone who works very hard to take care of herself while raising her family.
Baby has been moving around a lot, how amazing it is to feel all these kicks and punches.  What a feeling that I am so blessed and grateful to feel.  Darren finally felt baby kicking around last week but there are definitely times when baby knows what we are up to and stops while Darren is feeling for movement.  I believe we are all very excited for our little one to join us.  I am very much looking forward to seeing Darren be the amazing father I know that he is, he has so many great qualities and I know that our child will pick up on those.  I have many prayers for us in raising a child to walk in faith and even more to raise one that will be guided not only by us but also the great people that have surrounded us and have shown great example of how it is to invest in our child and marriage.  This is the journey I never knew I would love and I am so ready to see how it unfolds with each day that I am given.

Reality

Every time I talk to someone or read about any part of the baby process a very small part of me freaks out, very small.  It is a great way to prepare, I know that I may not have the exact same experience as others but it is very awakening.  I have checked for the obvious signs of change in my skin waiting for the inevitable or maybe what I believe is going to occur, my face is the part of the worry but part of the ah we are okay.  I know that I may never be fully prepared for the entrance of our child's life into this world but sometimes reading the scary things and thinking on them helps me feel a little better, not certain why exactly but after initial shock of "my body is going to do…" I just think about the fact that we will become a family of three and how great of a dad Darren is going to be every day.

I am learning my boundaries, cannot bend over like a normal person and having to make adjustments in order to be comfortable and not feel like I am squishing the baby.  I cannot take too long between my snacks and meals, continuing to keep a well rounded healthy lifestyle from foods to exercise.  I can hide under my layers at the gym but when it comes to most activities I realize that my legs do not come up as high on the bicycle due to being stopped by my belly, not going to do a few things because they felt awkward just 3 months in and being bigger would only make me more uncomfortable.  Most of all the sleep, getting enough sleep makes me a much happier person and even more ready to take on the day but my weekend naps are still getting fit in whenever possible.  Waking up from that sleep to use the restroom, not my favorite part.

We are just over the halfway mark and so much more will come to light as we hit additional milestones.

What a week

Last week has been an amazing time for me and us.  After thinking I had been feeling the baby moving but not too certain as I just did not know exactly what it should feel like or what to expect to feel like.  We had our ultrasound on Monday and got to see the baby kicking and moving arms around, seeing fingers and toes moving around so much.  IT is so amazing that this is happening when I have not realized it all along.  We got to see how the baby is positioned currently, only wondering if we have a runner or a bicyclist in the making.  And it happens to be that I also realized our little blessing is kicking around, feeling little hits on my right side, where the legs were last Monday, these little punches just popping around in me.  I did try to see if I could feel externally, putting my hand on the area but nothing, baby just stopped and then started but nothing for Darren to feel.  I have to remember that the  baby is still quite little, we have time where this will change and Darren will get his chance to feel and see all the babies movements.

It has been quite the experience, a lot of physical changes that I thought were going to bother me have actually been surprisingly welcomed in every way possible.  Growing and gaining weight has been going as it should, too many worries get a person nowhere, letting it all go has helped me embrace this journey.  It definitely helps to be in a great place as a person, in my marriage and career.  Baby is really showing through in my clothing and can no longer be hidden as in the first 3 months.  We are nearly half way there, tomorrow will mark 20 weeks of baby growing, and before I know it tax season will be over and we will be only 2 months away from baby arriving.  (Women are really pregnant for 10 months not nine, that is almost an entire year- that is another thing that became clear real fast. 38-40 weeks is thought of as full term pregnancy and most people deliver their first child later than the expected due date. i.e. Women are superheroes.)

An appointment next month will put us at at almost 6 months, it is going fast.

Learning

Now that we are getting close to the middle of our pregnancy I am realizing that no one can really tell you all the different things that your body is capable of doing and what you are in for, each site I have visited says something more or less than the previous.  While no one could have told me what I was going to be up against, with each person and pregnancy varying, I only ever recall hearing of morning sickness.

So as we approached the first days of knowing that we were pregnant I thought it was time to prepare myself for every possible sign of morning sickness.  I already did a lot of reading from blogs to medical websites on what other things can occur within ones body during pregnancy but none of it really stuck until it hit me.  Going to rewind a little, we found out we were pregnant a couple days after I had a major tension headache unlike any other.  While at a football game I had to research what I was okay to take to relieve this unbelievable pain and needless to say migraines and tension headaches are very likely when you are pregnant, number 1.  We picked up some meds on our way to dinner and just moved along, we had already been acting as if I were pregnant by watching what I was consuming and continuing my active lifestyle helped stay the course.  So there were no mixed beverages while Darren enjoyed his few faves, there was a lot more mixing in vegetables to lunches taken at my desk but even more it was about consuming correctly, as I always try, with a few more greens injected into my meal routine.

The second thing I have learned is that your uterus is going to stretch and it can make one feel very uneasy, I had very many concerns of making it past 3 months to the "safe zone."  Thankfully a friend had previously offered to see me through any questions I had and directed me to some websites to help with getting the basic tests at a better price, the previous month we had not become pregnant and it came up on our way to women's group that we were in fact trying to start a family.  When I asked her about this feeling, she knew exactly what I was feeling and how to explain it to me.  I knew that my body was going to change but actually feeling different symptoms and things unknown can be scary and uncomfortable at times but it has to occur to give the baby space to grow.

I felt a lot better about finishing up pre-boarding information for our fall cruise and of course I stated that I was pregnant as it asked and then they required me to have our doctor fill in a form that stated that I was not x weeks far along.  We got it taken care of with a nurse visit to confirm my pregnancy and Doc signed off.  Darren said I should not have done so as to avoid the paperwork but I kept thinking symptoms, what will my body decide to do while we are on vacation on a giant ship that it has not done before.

I did not get sick while on the boat, the only thing that I needed which I did not pack was allergy medicine but we were okay by day 2.  I had purchased a few items before we left based on the list of okay medicines that the doctors office gave me at my visit. I had some anti-gas medicine, nausea, pain reliever, and nasal decongestant- as I had been getting sick just before I went to the doctor.  Well, I was getting sick because my immune system was being lowered based due to being with baby, but the sun and stress free days helped to get rid of it while we were gone.  Lowered Immune system never occurred to me as I take a multi vitamin and vitamin c daily, but it happens.  Third thing I learned.

While I have not had morning sickness I did experience and still do, heartburn/indigestion.  What?! I did not think as to what exactly all my hormones were up to, they are relaxing my valve that separates my stomach from my esophagus causing the discomfort. I had this feeling going into my 8 week appointment and doc thought it would go away, as did I read this usually occurs in the second and third trimesters, but at week 10 appointment to find a heartbeat she said it was not going anywhere and gave additional over the counter med recommendations.  Darren picked one up and I tried prior to going home for Thanksgiving but it made my stomach feel uneasy so I decided to suck it up.  There were a couple times the acid made me get sick as it rose into my throat, some days are better than others but I count on it showing up at some point in the day.  This is the 4th thing that I have learned, in addition I learned through some research that heartburn is caused by some of my favorite foods; tomato, spicy foods, chocolate and citrus fruits- all things I love to have.  I started to eliminate some of these but does not work out all the time and once the heartburn kicks in I say forget it and enjoy what I can while I have the desire for it.

This leads me to the 5th item I have learned, sometimes I just do not have an appetite.  It disappears and my desire to figure out what sounds like a great meal is left blank.  Because I know I have to eat so I do not get hangry, and I also have to give my body nutrients for myself and the baby.  Sometimes we just make a decision that sounds good and once eaten makes it all better.  I thought I would be hungry more often, and while I usually snack through the day anyway I thought I was in good shape but not when the desire to make a choice is nonexistent.  My biggest issue is keeping hydrated, being constantly thirsty and water not always filling the void I have leaned on popsicles and some flavored caffeine free drinks that I normally would consider a treat.

Number 6, my body is going to produce more mucus.  And also have some nosebleeds to help it along the way.  Seriously, for someone who is already an allergy prone person and has to deal with a stuffy nose and congestion this makes it worse.  I go to bed cleared out but soon after am breathing out of my mouth which grosses me out as it causes issues in dental hygiene.  Sleeping on my left side as recommended has already been an adjustment as I have to work a lot harder to breathe with all the mucus building up.  I never have been a back sleeper, I prefer my right side,  it is how I can breathe best even though I will not be able to do this for too long as the weight of the baby will press on my spine and cause pain.

What else has this pregnancy got in store?! I will find out in due time as I get larger, tax season and race season sees us on some adventures.  We are still trying to figure out how to transport myself at 8 months to the races here in town, it is going to be interesting.