busy

Well this week has been quite busy, you may notice as I have not blogged since Tuesday.  I have been busy with work and then coming home to try study, and not give in to whatever distraction may occur.  I also try to make time for Darren and I, usually happening while we prep the food and have dinner.  Things are going alright, nothing comes easy, its just to continue to take my complete attention as well as time set aside and all that good stuff. 
I did so completely crash yeasterday afternoon for over an hour, it may have even been 2.  Of course this only came as I was just closing my eyes and the phone rang.  It was the ringtone that I use for everyone so I had to take a peek, it was Ashley and as I have been thinking about her I answered and we spent some time catching eash other up.  After that call I turned back around in the couch and the phone rang again but this time It was my parents ringtone which meant the call could be coming from the house or either one of my parents cell phones and with my sister a few weeks from her due date you just never know.  As I had spoken to mom earlier, I figured it might be her again. But when I picked up the phone it was Dad's cell and it was also him on the line, my mom has the habit of using whoever's cell phone is the closest or fully charged.  Dad wanted to know about my tax papers (my parents take care of that) and catch up.  I had not mailed them to him due to not making it over to the post office.  He asked how things are going, to update on my paperwork.  And as always told me to take care and a little secret for me and the rareity of "I love you baby."  I am my dad's baby, I think this happens in mose families, no matter how much we grow up our parents still see us as children.  And as I got off the phone I let Darren know it was dad, and of course Darren asked if Dad was angry (Darren asking and saying that people are angry is a whole other story kind of like his need to swat), and I responded that Dad is never angry at me.  Then it finally happend my maybe 2 hour nap.  It was awesome! Very much needed as I had plans to hang out with Chad and the guys while they were in town. 

The guys were here for Indiana Winterfest, which is a brewers festival.  They came up last year and it was fun to go out with them.  We had dinner at the Ram and I got to see Mr H, Chads dad and of course being complementive let me know that I was looking great, so it was 5 gentlemen and myself,  Dad headed back to the hotel as the rest of us then headed to Alcatraz for a drink, then Rock Bottom (or as Ray likes to call it Bottoms up).  Ray is his own story and I would not even know where to begin.  Now Drew and I had this amazing carrot cake that we shared last year.  So as we got situatedat Rock Bottom I ordered the cake.  I had not looked at the menu as I had picked a choice beverage that the waitress recommended.  As we are waiting, out come the drinks then she brings out this tiny almost cupcake looking but not.  She said that this was how they made it, they had made the cake in house and most people did not buy it as It was a huge piece, and we replied thats why you share it.  Drew and I were very much disappointed as it did not taste the same, the consistency was off and not so much carrot cake at all.  Appearantly the restaruant decided that it would be a good idea to join the fad of single person desserts, ps I hate fads.  After that disappointment we trecked over to the Wild Beaver Saloon, which is a bar and of course does not have to comply with the law and is a smoking establishment.  But here the guys met some firefighters, totally was complimented on for my fab Juicy Couture glasses, and also had a few life lessons on relationships from Drew and Mike.  This was Mike's first trip down with the guys as he did not join them last year.  It was helpful, I can take a males advice from the stand point that they are in the shoes that I may not always understand.  They gave me some insight as they both have been married for awhile and have the whole family thing going.  So I had a few things to think about.  Drew got us, myself and Mike, a Washington apple shot and it was actually delicious.  Not too much.  Then Chad and I seperated from the group to take a walk back and make sure we catch up on each others lives.  We talk from time to time on the phone and text but we always have great conversation and being that we are each others sound boards and best friends we had to make sure to just breathe our lives to one another.  It was a great night.  I will have to post some photos once Chad gets those to me as I took like 3 photos all night long, I guess I just got carried away in the excitement of hanging out with some great men. 

Life in Images

As one can imagine.  I/We capture a lot of our lives thanks to the wonderful technology of digital cameras, I like to say that I got Darren Addicted while he may have helped me in trespassing for photos.

These are from early October 2009, Darrens's Nephews.  It was our first experience carving pumpkins with them and hopefully not the last.  Not only did we get to spend time with them but we got to be slightly artsy.

These are from one of my favorite places around Indy, Fort Ben.  There is always something new to discover and they also have great paths that allow me to escape reality until Darren decides to speak.

And we enjoy traveling, Florida, Toronto Canada or Ohio to name a few places.  And even if it is usually because of IndyCar races.  Its still a great time and it was all in the enjoyment with the sun.
Its actually how we met, at the Indianapolis 500 May 25, 2009.  This is the ideal Darren story, it involves Indy Car while it may not be the story I thought I would tell everyone.  But it is and that does not make a "fairy tale" story but its our story.

Other things that we enjoy: concerts Top L is at the Indiana Fairgrounds and we got to see Jeremy Camp, Darren is a history buff so the top C and Far R are from Gettysburg,  Of course we enjoy each other, seen above, as I take a photo of us as we are leaving Gettysburg last summer. We enjoy my "babies," Edina and Eze when they visit even if we are a little boring for Eze.   We always try to make it out to the track, Indiana Downs is in Shellbyville and there we place a few bets.  One of my favorite past times, Football and to be more specific Notre Dame University.  I grew up on it, we all have our ND gear as well as my niece will soon have her Cheerleading outfit like my sisters had when they were younger.  I always look forward to my stadium hot dog and we always have great seats thanks to my folks as they are season ticket holders.  And of course if you come from my family we always like to celebrate everything and anything.  In the bottom R, my sister and Brother-in-law at their very casual beach wedding with my folks. 

There will be more of these kind of blogs because I just like capturing it all.

thinking

I think too much. Very pensive about anything and everything in my life. From the present situations with life, school, moving and so forth and then I caught myself at church today, thinking about aging. I guess it never really occurred to me until I was looking at an older woman of the congregation, not sure how old but I looked at her hands. I guess Hispanic people lose there color, there is a mix of light skin and almost like dots, different circular shapes that are darker. Is that what will happen to me, will the melanin of my skin just give up.
I am thinking about the next move, whenever it gets all figured out. I DO NOT like packing, DO NOT like carrying heavy boxes and DO NOT like getting re-situated. But it has to happen and in the end will make life slightly easier. I did decide that no box will be too heavy that I by myself cannot carry it. Currently I have been hauling about 4-6 different size boxes that my co-workers set aside. PS Magazine paper does not cushion the way newspaper does, go figure.
I am thinking about how I about to become an aunt, a biological aunt. How my sister's life is about to change drastically and she is excited. Plus we did buy all that great baby clothes in November anticipating her arrival. How my role is an aunt is going to be very different from the roles that my aunts have been in my life because we all lived in the same city and I grew up in most of their homes.
I am thinking about school. How I rush myself, I get anxious and not in a good way. I stress it and then over-prepare and also under-prepare. And what am I thinking, of course I want to do this for me but also I am 25 and still have yet to obtain the goals of greatness with the knowledge of my first degree. But they can be accomplished together and at different paces. Right?!
I am thinking that I do not want to get caught up in the things that other people get caught up in. I want to take each day and tackle it. I want to breathe easier and not like I am rushing through life. I want to multi-task without over-working myself. I do not want to find myself in a position of being burned out.
I am thinking about the best remedy for exhaustion when I cannot sleep well or can only take short "power" naps because that is all my body will allow me. And also the best beverage in regards to waking up. I rarely have caffeine or flavored drinks. Almost always with a bottle of water at hand. But that does not really get me going. Finding the best sleep cycle may help. Taking it easy, as it comes, and getting back to a gym routine may help it all. PS a new Ipod will need to be in the works with that as well. MOM!!!!!!

being a teen

I somehow came upon an old, old male friend. In my early teens there was this friend, there were four of us, my cousin and I and his cousin, and life happened and we lost contact, which was probably for the best anyway. I started thinking about how it was being a teen, a young teen. Pre-Driving teen. It was an awkward stage for me, like most I guess. It was not knowing what to do, being told what to do, how to dress, how to act, finding myself through others words. It was a tiring growing up constant cycle. I was kinda one of the boys which is hard to believe because I have so many more female cousins. It was growing into my body and what a teen was. I do not know how my parents felt about me at this stage because I was never a trouble maker. While I definitely had my moments, probably stemming from the fear of growing up. I also had an easy childhood. My parents have always been great providers but there were discussions that were definitely never came up and I feel into the role of seeing my cousins grow up. I spent most of my time with my grandparents, on my mothers side. I went everywhere, usually on some kind of vacation and church activities, as apa (grandpa) was a pastor. I grew up in the church, under a magnifying glass and expectations of my mother in regards to choices that pertained to being a part of the congregation while my father pushed me into my athletics but both expected me to excel in academics. With little guidance, neither one of my parents have a college degree. It was a whole new area but I knew it too would happen and we walked that walk. My parents, a few years ago.

I recall not being the closest to my mother, I do not know why as I always hear about how my girlfriends, most anyway are best friends with their mothers. There was definitely a lot of pressure. Difference being that my mother grew up with 10 siblings, there were different expectations in a time that was in some ways easier. But I LOve them, they made a great person, I like to think. They worked hard to provide a life beyond what they had and somehow they raised 5 children, 2 still at home. I grew up in a much more pressure filled society, my cousins that were my age did not have the same expectations that my parents had for me, they had a whole other set even if they in some ways overlap. I did not have the buffers of siblings/cousins my age that were held to the same expectations in the church and in life as a whole. I have always been close to my dad, he has been easier to talk to, while that may have changed in the last couple of years with my mom. He has been more calm, less criticizing and more constructive but also avoided the different conversations, maybe because he never thought he had to have them with me. I speak to my mom more now, like in college. I try not to get caught up in life because I know she too has stories, thoughts, feelings and wants someone to listen. It has been a roller coaster and right now we are smooth sailing. Even though there are sometimes I want to "divorce" her, give her space and myself time to think about what was said. She has had a hard time with us growing up and moving away and I think she also has a problem with sharing me the way I have a hard time sharing my family with others.

And I just love this picture of baby, Spring break in INdy with me 2008.

Being

There are times in life when I think about just being.  As in being a child again as I walked the aisles of toys and summer games at the local Wal-Mart.  To be carefree, run around wild and aimless, hang like a monkey, have super soakers, and the excuse of being a child.  Living for the moments rather than losing them in the chaos of life.  Singing too loud, I often used my hairbrush as my microphone but my cousin, Tamar,above R, used to use her hand as the mic.  You believed in anything and in my family you had to learn to share, hence the walkie-talkie that another cousin, Abidaih was entertained with.  There never had to be a reason to get together, it was a celebration of its own.  Where everyone could enjoy the most random activities, most if not all contained some type of food and the joy of sharing it with it others.    Then there were the actual celebrations, a family that always made a huge deal out of birthdays.  And while I may have come to my own conclusion of Christmas becoming better as I have aged and my own birthday becoming not as fun due to being away from my family I remember most of all the laughs, pinatas, food and cake. 

There was always happiness, always something to look forward to, an excitement, stress-free, fairy tale ending. A great love, to believe in love and love unconditionally without even realizing it. An innocence and never a need to prove one's self. To go about just like anybody else your size. To believe in the Land of Imagination. To Live.

trash Tv

On my list of bad but good things, like baked goodness and carbs, has to be Trash TV.  Tonight for example we watched The Bachelor, Darren kinda got me hooked as he realized there would be quite a few unexpected tragedies?!  I also enjoy my Friday and Sunday nights of TLC or WE tv full of wedding wonders.  From cakes, uber-ly expensive weddings, to finding style for your shape, staying on a budget and finding THE dress.  But I stay away from shows of full of crazy brides, as I cannot watch due to getting embarrased for them. I like my trash tv, while it may not be educational I do enjoy the style, ideas and appreciate the planning that goes into all of it. 
I know that I am not the only female that is not getting married that is glued to these shows.  Its just a great way to not think but to kinda talk back to the tv on likes, dislikes or changes that I would make.  Its fun.  Its thought-less as it is not for myself or anyone I know.  Its stress free.  Its a guilty pleasure.  And thats what keeps me sane in the crazy planned life that I try to lead.  Its Trash Tv, but so worth the time I have my bottom parked on the couch with a few blankets to enjoy it to the end.

a great weekend

So Last night I got to go downtown and see Love Letters at the IRT.  It was a great show and half the fun was getting ready to go downtown.  I laid out a few choice options for the evening trying to keep in mind the weather and it being so late.  And after a quick call to Malissa on my options I went with a Black pencil skirt, a basic Tee and blazer.  I know that dressing up a basic tee comes from the very need to jazz it with accesories.  As you can see to the left I got to wear my necklace that Malissa made and Darren purchased for me as a Christmas gift.  Then a blazer that is cap sleeve and has gold specks throughout.  And I got to wear patterned tights with my Kenneth Cole, Reaction line color blocked heels.  I Love dressing up.  The play was good, it was set in present time wtih a male and female that wrote letters to each other throughout their lives, inevitably they fell in love through these letters and meetings but were never together.  In the prologue the conversation consisted of how hand written letters are a rare and with technology no one really sends them.  I am glad to say that I still write a letter to my brother about every other week and when we go out of town we mail postcards back to our family and close friends, Go Me.  It was a fine evening.  My seats were in the second row and nearly in the center.  I hope to go and see another play in the near future and maybe next time a date to go and enjoy it with.

Today I had my class, that I actually have to go campus for.  After a hurried morning, mostly because I got off at the wrong exit but knew my way back to where the campus is located and made it on time.  It went well, took notes, and enjoy that I feel I am on the right track.  After four hours of lecture and lab.  I got home in time for lunch with Darren.  Tonight I also took my online class quiz and I got a 25 for 25 even after all the stressing over it I was very prepared.  Its a good weekend.

Oh, to live a rich life

So today as I was driving from work to Chik-fil-A for a late lunch I was talking to my best friend Malissa, we were discussing her shopping trip.  She was at Target and roaming around when I called her.  Malissa is pretty amazing, there is no argument there.  She was describing some items she had found and also an e-mail she sent to me last night.  We are artistic people and she seemed to find some great finds including a pair of "Malissa" blue loafers, as seen to the right, I LovE loafers and own a pair of red velvet Michael Kors.  They are statement pieces.  Then we started talking about my sister Luz and her Baby shower tomorrow afternoon and how mom would like for me to be there, probably more than my sister as well as mom having some "Xenia" (I go by my middle name with the family) withdrawl.  After all its been about 3 weeks since I have seen mom.  And of course I have that Anatomy class at the crack of dawn for 4 hours tomorrow so weighing the pros and cons.  It is after all a 3 hour drive one way and its not at my folks house but instead in Michigan City where my sister lives, then the drive back to INdy.  And I have a test for one class due this weekend as well.  Its a tough one.

This whole time while I was talking to Malissa and how she put more firewood in my kiln with an e-mail she sent me last night I began thinking while talking and driving. Watch ouT! (seriously I was safe) I have a friend, a truly wonderful friend who listens and how much that is a blessing.  Its a richness that is not monetary but very much for the soul.  Malissa can put me in my place, slap me back into shape (figuratively), also enjoys fashion, she can bring laughter and has a great personality that constantly and consistently takes me for who I am.  She also gives me a news update Sunday evenings when we talk while she is at work, taking her shift to get the paper out for Monday morning.

I guess I just have those moments of, WoW, I know this but I am blessed, my life has been enriched by the various people who share my excitement, joys, struggles, and laugh at me when I cannot find my own way.  I loVe it.  Of course there are very many people as well, my Folks, they always take care of me and let me have my time with them whether its talking and a movie with dad or shopping or staying in with mom.  They have given me more than I can even imagine.  I have a huge family and they each offer of themselves no matter the circumstance.  And tonight I get to go to the IRT for the play.  Another greatness, Darren, even if we will not spend dinner together I will get to have time to myself, get dolled up and then crash before class in the AM.
PS we had the infamous Chicken tacos last night for dinner

Its another one of those days

A simple day. But also it is Wednesday which means one more day of patients before the early shift on Friday then onto the weekend.  Or something like that as Saturday will be an earlier moring than a regular work day as It is the first day of my Saturday class which is 4 hours long.  I have been on the ball with my school work for the online class but I still have to prep for Anatomy on Saturday.  Its a nervous excitement.  And then the possibility of driving to Michigan City for my sisters baby shower, that is up for debate depending on the weather, the schedule with class and the 3 hr drive there then back home to Indy. 
Its been a pretty busy week at work.  So I am Uber excited about Love Letters at the IRT on Friday night.
Its been a blah busy day that will now be followed with a hot shower and then back to the books before some relaxation that is much needed. 
How do you get rid of the winter blah's?

Classes have begun

So, late last night, too late, I went online to see if anything had been posted for my classes on blackboard.  Not only were they finally up but they also had the whole semester syllabus posted.  Quizzes, assignments.  Tonight was an easy night for studying, and everyday I am sure it will become a little more difficult and challenging but this is a nervous excitement and to do something better for myself and in the end my man friend, family and myself will reap the benefits of the hard work.  SO here I come, a second time around but I again will do all I can, take the time, effort and enjoy it to the fullest.  Lets just work to avoid any anxiety this go around.

Photo by Darren @ Thunder Island 2009

I am also excited because one of my cousins is also taking classes this semester.  His Freshmen year and I want the best for him.  He is great and as he has grown up we are closer.  I am looking forward to his progress and any guidance I may be able to give him and hopefully in a few semesters he will be heading out of South Bend and away from home to a campus where we can come and visit him, take him out for a meal, catch up and maybe cause a little trouble.  Although Darren likes to tease him about Ball State and it goes back and forth I hope a private school out of state is in his future. After all we do Love to Travel.

Photo by Myself of Darren & Jaja, Christmas 2009

PS. We had Hot Turkey sandwiches on pita. and a Turkey Dog. YUM!