this made me happy

A couple days ago I went outside for a run and this song lifted my spirits and also reminded me of being with my cousins.

Pure Happiness

Some things that bring me pure happiness...

Sweets, as Rachel is-and the delicious cupcake she displays.

Silly friends, time with friends. Best idea ever! Our monthly get together is coming a long way.

Seeing my niece walk, even if its through a video that my sister emailed to me and to hear her laugh in another video clip.

Other things:

Family time

conversations with loved ones: today I spoke with Gina and it felt SOOO great

letters

me time

workouts

countdowns to special events: currently Florida trip 11 days to go

Fridays

Wine & food

little conversations with my dad & hearing everything and more from my mom

photographs & memories

clean home

and more will come to me in the next few hours

What brings you pure happiness?

Cake

Today I finished making these...

Malissa found the recipe for me awhile back and after much procrastination I finally made them and they are easy and Delicious!  Thanks Bakerella.  All it takes is a box of cake, frosting, and chocolate of choice to melt.  I still have a lot to learn about melting chocolate and how to apply the melted chocolate, getting it down to a science and maybe I can get far enough to learn all the little details for the wedding couple pops.  This is my test batch that I will get to share with my fellow Phi Mu Indy Alumnae at dinner tomorrow night.  I hope they are a hit and maybe I can get some pointers since many can bake and probably have more experience with chocolate.  Going to make more, possibly this weekend.  A couple things I realized is that I need to purchase a melon scoop for a consistent shape- and then MAYBE I can make 4 dozen out of a box of cake instead of just 2 dozen.  And of course Darren and I taste tested them.  He thought he could take some to work, but he was denied, the girls can get a taste after my next batch.  Any suggestions on how to better execute this recipe?

A start

So a few weeks ago, Valentines day to be exact, I joined a gym.  This happens to be the same gym that Darren goes to and considering my lack of researching gyms I gave and signed on.  Since V-Day we have gone a few times together and mostly on our own.  This past week we went before work on Tuesday and Friday due to evening schedules and having someone committed to going so early makes it slightly easier to get out bed.  I LOVE my sleep.  But its also nice to get it done with and not have to squeeze it in after a long day at the office.  I have been changing it up, slowly becoming familiar with all the weight lifting equipment and trying to have a goal on what I want to make the primary focus, with workouts alternating between weights and cardio- one day I even did both. Watch Out!  I am supposed to be getting back into running condition as Darren has bribed me to run a 5K in Florida in 20days, I think.  Quite frankly running as an adult has become a way to escape and since I do not have a pool at my disposal it makes for a great way to just be alone with my thoughts and the wonderful music on my IPod.  I am not sure just how great of a time I will make or even how I will feel after the 5K but it will be a start to whatever it is that Darren is up to.  Mind you, this is the second time I have been persuaded to run a 5k but at least this time I do not have the excess college weight.  And my prize will be a dinner at one of the restaurants around St. Pete.  Although my feet already need some attention with a pedicure, I have been denying myself this pleasure due to the large amount of time in my running shoes.  But maybe before  our trip. 

In other news, we finally have a picture to start off 2011, it was at a local bar with Simona DeSilvestro.

 

The kitchen is almost finished!  Exciting because that means it will be more efficient to use and even more it will be updated and presentable.  Darren will be working on my wine rack that will be above the microwave and sometime in the near future the pantry will be updated.  Check it out! It all matches now.

Today I also made our first pancake lunch.  It was my breakfast but only after I went to the gym and Darren had gone to church.  I have been craving some for a few weeks now, I need to make breakfast more often.  My pancakes had white and semi-sweet chips while Darren just had semi sweet- I did not know how he would feel about white chocolate.  They were delicious.  Some night we will have breakfast for dinner.

Bridesmaid dresses have been picked and they have begun the ordering process.  I found the dresses through Etsy, which I love.  I can get lost in their site, viewing page after page of creativeness.  Shoes yet to be decided upon.

We have one more private session of pre-marriage counseling.  I definately expected something else but it is eye opening.  We watch film, talk about it and also about the previous meetings homework.  We do not seem to have many questions which is scary but also puts me at ease.  If that makes any sense.

We have 3 more group sessions.  This is a group that we joined through Darren's church, it is very interesting.  To see how each couple has different interests, concerns and altogether different.  Our last session we talked about in-laws, Darren and I have it pretty great.  Next session will be somewhere along the lines of parenting, possibly, as it was suggested at the end of our last meeting.  This one can get interesting, I can imagine myself not saying a word.  If you KNOW me, I do not like kids, I LOVE my family but I can give those kids back.  My family brings me joy but if I hear a kid screaming while I am trying to run errands my immediate reaction is to want the parent to take them home, asap.  We should find out our topic questions in the next couple of days.  We will see what happens.

Friday I will also be seeing my loovah, Chad, as he is in town for work. Getting together with the ladies for our monthly get together and to celebrate Sarah's Birthday.

This should be a great weekend to come, and hopefully lots of photos.



I am realizing how hard it is to grow up. It took about 5 attempts, calling my dad for his information, to figure out how to renew my license plates and still it could only be mailed to my parents house. I have been living in the area for 3 years next month and have yet to update my license, I do not even know where the BmV is and do not care to visit- I still have another year before my license expires and I will drag it out as long as possible.

I am finding that I have to make decisions as an adult. I have to think about all my responsibilities and priorities. I do not want to be a grown up but I know I cannot live off of my parents when I need something. I missed my nieces first birthday because I knew I had to think about the long run. I know that living here is hard and growing up is harder.

It's a shower

So I have decided after many different thoughts and conversations that I should break down and have a bridal shower. I enjoyed myself when I was helping with friends events and now it can be my turn to enjoy my friends. I got some details together with Malissa this weekend and also for the wedding.  So we will see how it all turns out. 

We attempted to purchase invites while we were out running errands but even at the outlets their selection was rather limited.  I did look at actual wedding invitations and right now I am struggling- my latest stress has been finding the right invitation and going against what I wanted.  I originally wanted to design the invitations but have also found some great sets out there with response cards and envelopes which can in turn be a less expensive route.  I saw Darren's invite list and his friends list, in my opinion, is out of control, which equals more invites to buy.  Being home today due to the weather I continued my search through wedding paper divas and its scary to see the price which does not include response cards and envelopes.  Even if the price goes down with the more you buy it can still get out of control.  So I have no idea in which direction I am going in just yet but I do know that I have to get the envelopes to my mom's friend for all the penmanship, I rather not have them typed and even less want to share my not so good handwriting on all the envelopes.  I was hoping to have these to her on my next visit home which is 2 weeks from this Saturday otherwise I will have to mail them which is just as feasible.
I expect to see a pimple pop in the next couple of days due to this stress and add maybe a pound with all the junk I will consume today for having to stay at home rather than be at work.  So don't stare.

Also I finally took a photo of Kyle, this past weekend which makes I believe for my first photo not on my phone for the year, this is sad.

Yes or no??

So a few weeks ago a girlfriend asked if I was having a bridal shower and although we had already talked about this I again said no and explained my reasoning.  It can become a stressful situation leading up to the day and until things get going.  My reasons for not having a shower and that somehow my mom was okay with are: stress, planning, organizing, location-considering that I would have to go to the Bend for this event.  No one in my family has asked, I do not know if they are expecting one or if they have not thought about it since life has been crazy and we have just recovered from Christmas.  And if the wrangle one up I blame it on my mom.
Nikki made me think about it, more than I had initially.  So I touched base with Malissa and let her know that it is on my mind now, yes it would be great to just have some girlfriends and get together- a social event.  (Although I am sure Chad would be up to the challenge I would not do that to him)  It would be good to have a small group of friends in one place and enjoy some time together.  (I only got up to 2 people on the guest list, mostly because I have been distracted but could come up with maybe 10) But I am not set either way.
Mind you the house would be the place and that means stress for me because I have to make sure it is presentable before hand.  I since this conversation have been attempting to weigh the pros and cons.  Darren is all about this, he is ready to receive.  Another thing is figuring out a date, Malissa can only be in town so many times, including this weekend.  Its a 5 hour drive and really when she is here I do not want to share her or make it about planning the whole time around this event.  The next time she will be in town will be for the race which is an already busy weekend for us.  Then the wedding.
Another thing is that Darren and I have opted to not sign up for a registry.  We are still in the process of putting his home/apartment and mine into the house.  We have a few needs but not like most engaged couples. 
I am torn because it would definitely be a great time with some friends and then not so much because of not needing to figure out the minor things to make it all come together.
Any ideas? Suggestions? Experiences to move me either way?  Malissa has to have the final answer by this weekend when she is here.  PS 3 more days!

I survived

This past Sunday I went to my first bridal show. One of my co-workers came with me and it was a good way to see what options are possible for the wedding. It was a slow start with some goals set it made it that much easier. We ate way too much cake, had some wine, and explored different options. Of course my main goal was to find a vendor for tent, tables & chairs. But none existed. It had plenty of options for photographers, catering, cake and flowers but not what I was on the hunt for. It was a good experience but some booths they kinda were after you, mostly people who were for venues, and it felt great to say yes and keep walking. I survived even after about 4 slices of cake.
This week we also had our first Pre-marriage counseling session and it went really well. A way to listen, talk on and reflect about the bigger picture. Making this relationship last and giving to each other. So even after all the nervousness I survived that this week as well.
Although I am still trying to make it through this illness, I woke up fine Monday morning went to work and then was breathing and it did not feel alright. Of course as the week goes on it gets worse. Feeling exhausted, painful coughing, slightly runny nose and a sore throat. I figured it was nothing and would come and go before the end of the week- but it did not. Finally I gave in and stayed home from work on Friday and went to the minute clinic. Needless to say I had contracted acute bronchitis, got some mess came home and slept off and on all day. Tomorrow will be day 3 of my antibiotic and I will venture out, not for long but enough to get me going. Plus being cooped up for 2 days is too much. Darren has been such a great sport, he spoke with a pharmacist earlier this week and got some OTC medicine, found salmon and a baked potato for my dinner last night and has checked in on me as much as another person can. I have been wanting my mommy all week but Darren has been very great at taking care of me when I am not 100 percent. Thanks also to Shana and Mrs. D for checking in, it has been a downward spiral of a week. Now I have to get better for when Malissa comes into town, 5 days.

thoughts

Today makes it 188 days until the wedding.  And while the house is still in the final stages of renovation I have been figuring out what am I going to do about this wedding, there are still so many details to figure out.  My next task is to figure out the best place to rent the tent(s), chairs and tables then figure out table settings, we still have invites and favors.  I am totally going with plastic table settings as we will be outside and I have no desire to rent those items.  Also today I will be attending my first bridal show- a co-worker of mine agreed to come along for the ride, and I anticipate to take in quite a few ideas and figure out my last vendors or at the very least have more direction in what we can do to finish up the major stuff.  I have been deciding about some of the minor details, in my opinion, deciding whether or not to order a cake serving set to cut the cake but we definitely will not feed each other.  I have also found that there are a lot of cheesy love/wedding things out there.  I received a magazine and liked some of the designs but then the wording was too much for me (two hearts, best friends, etc.), oh gag me!  Sorry I am not a cheesy person and I know that maybe at one point I was but then I grew up.   I need to get to my list of things that need to get done and what has been completed.  There are also quite a few traditional wedding things that we are opting out of and a couple I am debating on.  Traditionally you would have a Bible given to the couple, I am on the fence on this one so I think that if my mom does not say anything than we can opt out of it- I have issues with sharing.  I figure that since we are not doing a lot of the traditional things why should we have to do others.  There will be NO bouquet or garter toss, no feeding of the cake, no flower girl, no exchanging of the rings.  Heck my best friend is a man so you know this one will be slightly different. 

I think I am beginning to stress myself out so to change the subject. 

Yesterday we went up to Illinois State University to see a basketball game and got to see my friend Chris for a little bit, yes that was nice.  Mostly because its Chris and we made it out of Barton and he is finishing up grad school.  I hope to see him in May but if not hopefully at the wedding.  He is so great to talk to.

*My good deed for the week was cleaning up the snow in the driveway Tuesday night after getting home before Darren.  I felt sneaky, thinking he might show while I was shoveling.  But I worked up an appetite and felt great about myself.  This may not happen ever again.  I would have taken a photo but then I got inside and out of the boots to make my dinner.  I also ate 2 doughnuts-I figured I worked for them.

*I am counting down until the arrival of Malissa and then Chad and the rest of the men will be in town for winter fest for a 3rd year.  This means wedding planning and then a good night downtown.  I will also be celebrating Malissa's birthday while she is here.

*This Thursday will be the 2nd of 3 fitness boot camps that Doc gave the team as part of our Christmas gift.  I am still feeling this past Thursday's workout and am beginning to believe that wearing heels did not help the healing process.

*This Thursday will also be our first Counseling session- I am both nervous and anxious to see how exactly this works.  And what the homework will be all about.

*Its day 16 in January and we have yet to take any photos, we are slacking but that will change soon.

A new week

Alright. I have had a ton of thoughts about everything and anything. So much going on around me. Today I went to a gym, toured the facility but it just did not impress me. First of all it was packed.

Yesterday we, Darren and I, met with a photographer. I found her through a patient at the office and she had nothing but great things to say. Considering that I have been searching for a photographer since shortly after the planning started it was great to be led to a person who would have a great personality. It's nice that we got to meet her and I feel very confident in her abilities and am excited to see the final product. I also appreciated that she did not get carried away with editing the photos. Simply enhancing them is what I want and capturing our day and families.

Darren has almost finished the full bathroom- it's going to be amazing! Taking a shower has been so relaxing. Once it is completed I will post photos.

Also, yesterday at church the pastor spoke about doing a good deed this week. Whatever pops into our head that is a good deed we are to do. I have not thought about it too much but Darren had me pick a room when I got home, I picked Malissa's room. So this week he is going to clean her room. Exciting! It will be nice to see the floor and the space. I am not sure what my good deed will be although I did pick up some more turkey before the next scheduled grocery trip & an Easter treat. Any good deeds that you have done? Or someone has done for you? I will let you know what happens.