Back to Life

Back to reality.
I made my way back to the office on Tuesday, before I went on maternity leave I was asked when I thought I would be back in and taking care of my duties.  And I let my amazing bosses know that I planned on being back after Labor Day.  I would have had nearly 3 months at home and I could be back in with time to get things together, including my brain, for some upcoming deadlines and preparing our office for tax season.   Of course, it was hard this week (even with 2 partial days).  I found myself anxious about being away from Conor, ready to see him, worried that he might be acting up, missing some big milestones, but most of all missing him and our time together.  I got hooked.  Hooked on being with Conor and having time to be around the house taking care of things that are now looking daunting as my time is being split in many ways.
My Kid Sister, Edina, is helping us out with Conor and as I called to check in each day I worked and give her my coming home status she was calm and collected.  This made things easier, giving me an update on how he did and what his feedings were like as well as the days activities.  Tummy time, reading, naps and walks occurred while I was away.  He is growing up, my favorite part is coming home and he is all smiles without a care in the world but ready to eat shortly after my arrival.  Which means some us time would be in order and we would have some bonding allowing all the anxiety of leaving him to melt away.  Thank goodness children have no concept of time.
The biggest blessings have occurred in all of this, my amazing office family supports me.  From pregnancy to entering into motherhood.  With Anna taking care of the office all summer and my bosses allowing me so many luxuries from taking the entire summer off to allowing me to transition back in and so much more.  Being able to have my sister  with us to help and knowing that Conor is not only being taken care of but most importantly he is being loved while I am away. 

I am now looking forward to 3 day weekends before tax season comes, such a blessing to be in an amazing work environment but I love spending my free time with Conor and my family at home.  With 4 of us in the house I am ready for our big adventure together in seeing Conor grow up and Edina having her own valuable learning experiences and fun as well.  Next week, full days and a 4 day work week- I might be a little unstable for a couple days as I again adjust to being away on a normal schedule but also getting back into my groove at the office.

We have been working on sitting up, 

still a little wobbly as Conor works on controlling his upper body.

Morning of my first day back at the office.

Just another evening walk, the 3 of us, my sister has joined us for some exercise.

After surviving my first week back at the office and Conor being with his Tia Edina.

Today Conor is now 3 months, so big compared to bringing him home and such a great personality.  Love his smiles and babbles as we continue to learn about each other.

He is getting on a schedule that is nice, a couple naps during the day, an evening nap and 6-7 hours of sleep at night.

Conor also gave both sets of grandparents a Grandparents day card with his little handprint.  

Looking forward to seeing that handprint grow as he continues to send as his signature to family and friends.

3-0

Last year at this time I was so excited to turn Thirty, so excited that life had been such an amazing adventure and even more that I was ready for continued growth.  We knew that we would be on a journey to expand our family at that time, but we did not know it would happen so fast.  Finally my life in pen brought a truth, to have a child between years 29 and 30 of my life.
With Conor so much has changed, there was no party for me to plan and more travel than I thought would occur.  No opportunity to parade in the outfit I bought as a gift to myself a month before and host some of my closest friends as we enjoyed some socializing.  No big to do of fun on such a big moment as I left my 20's and entered into another transition in life.  Last year I was hoping for a cruise but of course here comes the biggest life changer in Conor and parenthood, while it is all wonderful it does change life.  Plans cover our calendar even more as we make time for family and ourselves, summer trips leaving me exhausted there was no way I could pull it all together.
And things changed as my kid sister was in town.  We ended up driving North to take her home while Darren went back to work.  It started off great, dinner after church with my siblings and mom, some great sleep, Conor behaving minus the tummy trouble and then breakfast at one of my favorite spots in town.  The one place that we always seem to choose for birthday breakfast, nothing super special about it but it hits the spot.  Mom brought up shopping and so we ventured once again but with Conor it was not as easy as it once was and before I knew it I gave up and was ready to drive home.  Some fussiness on the way home and just wanting to erase the troubles of the day I decided we would not hold off on birthday dinner and got dolled up.  Conor had a full tummy and out the door we went, as he fell asleep in the car.
Needless to say in the end we ended up with takeout and I spent more time getting ready than we did seated in the restaurant- and I do not take long to get ready.  Ah, yes, parenthood to a little man that must have sensed our desire for some us time and to enjoy a dinner I was very much looking forward to.  On the plus side we did make it through our entire anniversary dinner without so much as a peep from Conor just a little over a week before.  One out of two is not so bad.
After all of this I decided that I get to celebrate years 30 and 31, somehow, someway we will make it happen.

Littlest traveler

Last month we were very busy, we had our first trip to Toronto and Conor is ready to be a jet setter/traveler.  Three passports and we will see so many places together.  But first it was an IndyCar race in Canada.  I will not hide the fact that it made me nervous to be away and be on the road for so long with someone that needs attention, fed every 3 hours, and most of all the idea of Conor being stuck in a carseat for that drive.  But Darren was so helpful in regards to stopping and checking on us as we sat in the backseat.
The weather did not go as planned, while the 70's were actually perfect for the three of us the rain was not pleasant.  Last year it was unbelievably hot, constantly reapplying sunscreen and downing water this year was about keeping dry and warm on Saturday while Friday was beautiful and Sunday went from a dreary day to a warm day in the sun.  We also decided to leave after some lunch at the food trucks and before rain came in for parts of the second race.  Best idea ever, as we got in bed at a decent time and the drive seemed to be easier on everyone.

 The first outfit Conor has outgrown, it was so tight on him and hilarious. Too bad the photo does not show what we experienced that day.

In Canada, Conor and Darren overlooking one of our favorite vineyards.

Conor did really well on his first big trip. Getting a big stretch in.

Per Darren's request I decorated a shirt for Conor to commemorate his first IndyCar races. 

We found a backdrop to take their photos of Conor's big race experience.  Although most of it was spent sleeping and/or being held.

Had to take some cover as it lightly sprinkled, glad we packed his hat.

After all the fun in Toronto we came back home and tried to get back on a normal schedule, for a week at least.  One night Conor was just looking around and wanted to be propped up but next thing I knew he conked out in the seated position.  Just showed how tired he was and finally gave in to sleep.

After less than a week home Darren had a race in Iowa so he thought we should make a stop before packet pickup to Antique Archeology, American Pickers happens to be a show that is watched often by us.  Conor again got to relax most of the trip.

 Darren purchased a brick in support of the Bix a couple years ago and wanted to have Conor take a picture next to it.  I am interested to see him grow from this photo although Darren is thinking one more year of this race to complete his goal of 10 on the course.

Conor's sleeper states, Daddy's MVP, one of Darren's favorite outfits with the bonus of a baseball.  I imagine that one day we will have our very own baseball player, just like daddy.

So at 2 months old Conor has been to both of our  hometowns, family reunion at the Dunes, Canada and Iowa. It has most definitely been a busy summer with only 3 more weeks before I head back to the office.  Hopefully it slows down so we can enjoy every minute of it.

It is going too fast

This past Friday Conor turned 1 month old. One month, of a lot of changes, laughter, and adjusting to a new schedule that in itself is ever changing.  We have had one busy month, mostly exhausting as we are not "night owls" or "early birds." But in my case, a person who loves their sleep. When we got 5 hours of sleep one night it was amazing but still short of what I am used to, gone are the 7+ hours nights of sleep.  This week I have already been able to get over 6 hours, but only because I decided to go to sleep at 8ish when Conor finally went done and then we did not have to get up to feed until the wee hours.  This has caused a slight issue but our tough nights have been minimal thanks to some day trips out of town and once again our schedule has changed to accommodate Conor's needs.

One month old photograph on the Fourth of July.

 Random hand position after a feeding.

 Conor let it rip and Darren was laughing so hard at the situation.

I remember being told that our child would only cry if he needed to be changed, fed or burped.  Wrong, they forgot to tell me that Conor would have fussy nights (which are completely normal) and he will eventually wear himself out and in the process us.  That he would cry because he just wants to be held, talked to, walked or to be outside and listen to the cars as they pass our home or he simply just wants to be awake.  He will cry to get our attention but have no actual need.  He can comfort himself and fall asleep on his own if we give him some time.  He will cluster feed and make me feel like I cannot give anymore but somehow he continues to feed and feel satisfied for short periods of time and it will begin again.  Just when you think he is out for the count with a full belly the burping must commence and then he is awake and wants more and the milk comma will eventually occur.

 Grandpa's 70th Birthday run that Conor slept through, which means he behaved.  Darren and his sister ran a 5k with Mr. D to celebrate his big day.

Darren, the best father Conor could have.  Ready to feed after his run.

Headed to grandma and grandpa's (Darren's parents) for a surprise party in celebration of Mr. D.

Conor enjoys car rides, being carried, walked/rocked and of course being pushed in the stroller.  He has put on 2 pounds from birth weight to his 1 month check up and has grown a couple inches as well.  Darren has continued to call him Junior as well as stinky due to the numerous diaper/gassy occurrences that we have encountered.  This kid has got us on our toes and most importantly in love with the person he is slowly becoming.  He will just look back at me and of course all those expressions I hope to capture when I am not tied up feeding or holding him.  He responds to our voices and has caught us missing his peeing action during a diaper change that becomes a clothing change as well.  Conor tends to go completely limp after a great feeding and it is the most hilarious thing to watch, he just hunches over while being burped and lets his arms fall down to his side.  Needless to say it has been fun, tiring and most of all the best adventure we could have been given.  This kid is amazing and the best addition to our family.

Went into the bedroom to check in during a nap after no sounds on the monitor and I found this little man with his hands holding each other. 

After a feeding Conor dug into my armpit area for a short snooze. 

I moved at one point and he just dug his head back into the same position.

What a whirlwind

We are all home and as we have been adjusting I lost track of the days as they are all blurring together but none the less they are making me realize just how amazing this whole process has been for us.  We have come together even stronger in our marriage and relationship with each other in order to not only meet the needs of Conor but also shows how much we were looking forward to our journey in parenthood.  Many nights are double duty, Darren is enjoying his dirty diaper times and learning so much more as we continually tend to Conor and his 3 priorities, sleep, poop and eat.

As Darren celebrated his first Father's Day today I was reminded of how great of an adventure lies in front of us.  He is such a great example of a man and the priorities that lead him and our family to continually be blessed.  I could not have asked for a better or bigger gift than the gift of sharing in being his wife and raising Conor to be a man of God.  While it is hard to imagine him any bigger than he is today or how he will react to the many things we do or he is asked to, I know that we can do it together as this past week has shown me.

Darren likes to sit on the porch on nice nights or after his runs to cool down.  I imagine that Conor too will be right at his side and many great teaching moments and bonding will occur in front of our home.

I love this, Darren does not miss a beat to help and talk to Conor.  They both amaze me.

While I do not get it all our friend Chris and Darren are sure to teach Conor all about the MAC and how BSU can do better.

Photo credit to my amazing friend Amy, just warms my heart.

Today Darren took the reigns and led us to the park for a family stroll.

Although my dad, Apa/Poppi, wanted to push Conor.  I have a great daddy and now he gets to continue his role as a grandfather to 2 little ones although my niece may not be completely on board.

Two of many men that will positively impact Conor as he grows up.  His Grandpa D will have a great influence as well.  As we chose/choose our friends wisely we will also find other men who will guide, listen and befriend our little one.  And many more women who will nurture and smother him at times.

Sometimes you get surprised

We did not know the day would come, like most people but it did and it was something I could never explain but it is our story.  As close as we were to our due date and as exhausted as I had become from all the weight, swollen feet and other pregnancy symptoms Junior and God had another plan.  After coming home early from the office one day last week so I could walk, a doctors appointment the next day and lots of exhaustion and anticipation we realized Thursday night it was time to go to the hospital. I will spare the details, I would like to keep those as a memory to share with our Junior.  After a tough start to labor we finally got to meet our little one on Friday June 6th at 4:19pm.  Conor Avery joined our family a couple days early at a whooping 8 lbs 13 ounces and 21.5 in long.  I definitely could not believe he was here, he was ours and we have been blessed beyond words with a child that I never imagined.

Darren already shines for me, as my husband, forever love and friend.  He made everything easier, being positive, but also looking at all the possibilities to keep us pulled together.  Each day he works to give us the best at home and care for us like only he could, there will be times, I know we will be a handful (I know I definitely have been at times) but he will never fail us.  And now we get to share in parenthood, as we had slowly prepared long before Conor came had been borrowed to us by God, to raise and love.

We came home Sunday night to find our porch decorated for our arrival.  

What a great surprise.

Conor looks like mommy but he definitely has Darren's bone structure.  Looking forward to see how much more he changes and both of us shine through in him.

First Family Photo

This little guy has made it all worth it. 

More photos and stories to come as we spend the summer home together, the blessing of my bosses and Anna to make it all possible, as we transition and grow.

The final days

Our due date is 5 days away and while I am in a lot of discomfort and praying for patience I keep waiting for Junior to give me the signs that say "I am ready!" but instead I constantly feel tricked.  As contractions are so sporadic and not following a pattern that would lead us to the hospital and onto the most unprepared thing that will happen, a birth.
It does not matter how much I have read or been told about the birthing process nothing will prepare us for the rush of emotions that will occur or the feelings that will overcome my body.  The only thing I can do is put my mind at ease, stay calm and breathe through it all.  Although I still hope for an early arrival and with the discomfort that comes most morning I think it will be just that day, with days passing and the feelings calming and leaving my body as I get the day going it seems that we may go into the extra week that our doctor is allowing for, a week 41 with possible induction if Junior does not start the process.
This past Friday I thought, maybe Junior knows I have some minor things to get done and is waiting for me to accomplish those and get them out of the way.  Well I did just that, got up and cleaned up followed by some leftover shopping.  I even grocery shopped on Sunday, loading up snacks to have on hand so we would not have to worry about those for awhile and have it on hand for Darren.  But just the discomfort has followed me this week, thankful for a flexible office.  I came home early to walk and get into a different rhythm that would allow me get more relaxed out of my amazing chair at the office.
The countdown has been on, now its up to Junior to kick start my body and join us on the outside.

Week 38

Just a couple weeks left to go and our hopes of an early arrival are beginning to dwindle for me as I see the days go by.  Less than 2 weeks until our actual due date and I am ready, car seat bases have been installed into both vehicles, hospital bags are packed, Junior’s clothes washed, freezer is organized (aka I now know what we have in stock), one package on its way and I shopped this past weekend for a date dress when we get to go out on our own.

I can now see and understand what people say when they are ready to be done with this part of the process.  Feet being swollen, exhaustion, trouble sleeping, everything feels ready but we are missing the most important person to make it come full circle.  I probably walked around 3 miles Sunday and no give on showing up.  Earlier this week I just wanted to bang my head against my desk, due to realizing that carrying a person is quite tiresome and the excitement is slowly becoming paranoia as we wait and let Junior take his/her time to meet us.  

Junior’s room is ready, everyone seems to be awaiting their call to see if we have been blessed with a girl or boy to raise and love.  I think Junior knows what is going on and is having fun playing games with me, a lot of kicking around today as if to say "I am here and I am not moving."  

I had a fresh mango yesterday in hopes that it would help as a pineapple was not available, but instead I had a delicious and sticky treat.  Yes, I am resorting to trying a couple things in hopes of coaxing Junior to join us on the outside.  Off to find some pineapple this week and keeping my walking feet in search of some signs that Junior is ready to make his/her grand appearance.

Finishing up week 37

This is the most exhausted I have felt this entire time, mostly due to the lack of great sleep and being able to breathe well while I am sleeping.  We are almost to the finish line and if all goes the way we feel and think Junior will arrive a little early and I do pray it is so, just even a couple of days.  Not only because we are all so eager to meet our little one and share him or her with our family but because we are as ready as one can be and I for one am willing to give in to the next stage of tiredness and exhaustion that is not associated with carrying a live being but holding.  I will get to be exhausted at home and not everywhere else I am like the office where I should be the most productive.  My stomach is more tight than not with Braxton Hicks contractions written all over it.  I have been staring at what needs to be done this week and today I will get to do all those things that I so much have been dreading but once I get started we should be okay.  The couch always looks better but let me say I have been wanting oh so badly to lay on my belly, just collapse and lay face down, someday I guess just not the next few weeks.  Staying as hydrated as possible, making time for the little things that may be more work after baby is here.  Knocked out some one on one dates with girlfriends and now onto making more time for Darren and I.  

This weekend will be a busy one with us but its all the busy we like: food, friends and the race.  I realized the other day that it has been 6 years since we first met on Memorial Day Weekend at the race.  6 whole years, so crazy how fast time goes and how much we have done since we first met.  And just after we celebrate (or just me reminiscing) all the growth we will be celebrating a blessing of a child and growing our family.  Our transitioning from up and go people will change and that alone will  be interesting. 

Just have to

I just have to brag a little bit, at this stage in my life I cannot imagine bragging about anything/anyone else than the amazing support that I have from my family and friends.  But of course Darren has been the biggest reason to brag about these days.  He makes me so happy, all the hard work that he puts out from his career to our home and marriage.  Darren has worried himself about my feelings of pain and has done all he can to make life at home easier.  He really took a big one this year with tax season.  He made almost every meal for those 3 months, rubbed my feet and back and so much more.  Being on this journey with him makes for great days and even more it makes for an easier pregnancy.  Although this may feel like an easy pregnancy compared to others I know or have read, there are times when the emotions just want to run, he has always been forewarned as to not catch him off guard.  He constantly supports us, makes us laugh and has taken the time to cuddle and talk with me even if he was not ready for bed.  All the small things that make it about us.  A couple weeks ago I got to take care of him in preparation for a half marathon, but with an illness taking over him it made my job a lot easier.  It reminds me to serve him and of course it is easier when he is down as we usually do it all together or individually.

Almost a month ago I got to spend some time with the family and close friends to celebrate Junior.  Needless to say my mom put a lot of work into it but as always others come around to help in preparing and wrapping it all up.  Good food, a lot of games and cake.  It was so great to be surrounded by the noise, jokes, conversation and laughter of my people.  The ones who have watched me grow, supported and celebrated so many milestones.

A week later we did it again, went out and celebrated Baby D one more time.  With college girlfriends and amazing women/friends that I have made along my journey.  Sarah threw a party centered around food and conversation-my kind of party.  She made it easy for everyone to enjoy themselves and hosted like no other, even for her first baby shower- she made it amazing!

Thanks to Amy, we were able to take maternity photos to capture this moment in our lives.  And in her procrastination of studying she gave us a sneak peek.  Looking forward to seeing some more of what she caught of us, hopefully some of Darren looking relaxed.  The hard part will be figuring out what will be displayed and how.  Amy, like most the people I know, is amazing!  In every way possible.

I am looking forward to sharing our little one with all of these amazing women.  I have been so blessed with family and friends that have made this journey so much more enjoyable and memorable.  Just under a month away from sharing the little squirmy child that we are so blessed to see move everyday.