So I found a Pinterest pin and this lady was writing several blogs about very many random items to write out. I lost the pin, the website is lost in the history of my IPhone but here is the first and maybe I will make my own list of 30 blog items. More to come!
1. I read magazines from the back to the front cover.
2. I brush my teeth and walk around doing minor stuff, put away laundry, get lunch ready-whatever needs done.
3. I despise public restrooms, avoid at all costs.
4. There are times I am very OCD and now as a married woman I hold my tongue as there are 2 adults in the house- he sees the mess he makes.
5. I am beyond in love and so glad that I gave in and have been led into a healthy marriage.
6. I do not wear t-shirts or tennis shoes in public. I better be going or coming from a workout.
7. I despise running but I do it anyway. Plus the after affect and time to not think is helpful.
8. I can memorize lyrics like no other. Just drive with me and you will see, for some reason I pick it up very easily.
9. I prefer to buy my books, I have not had a library card since high school. This will have to change soon as I will have more time to read and do not always want to spend the money on books.
10. I am a calendar person, it's in my phone or on our paper calendar or we are not there.
11. I like to take charge- I get my families holidays and other things organized. This year I am trying to step back. Although this may be my calling in life, to be in charge. Something about having control and knowing that it is up to me to get it all figured out is empowering.
12. I self diagnose, of course its either nothing or worse than I think. It's allergies but ends up being a cold, feels like its going to work its way out of my body and its there much longer.
13. I try to eat very healthy and make time to exercise but it's a rare moment that I will pass up on dessert.
14. The slightest things can make me cry. Mostly hearing songs on the radio that speak to me or about an ill child gets the tears flowing. I am blaming this on marriage and the anticipation of having a family.
15. I am bilingual when I pray and bring up words randomly when I speak to Darren and my family. Our child WILL be bilingual even if Darren cannot understand- this is a great gift to have.
16. I am NOT pregnant but I think a lot about having a child, Darren and I say how awesome they will be. 21 year old me is going to find out what we may have missed out on.
17. Making decisions based on 3 options is what I prefer. Darren has even caught on to this, restaurant decisions and activities are slightly easier this way.
18. I do not like to skip meals and prefer to snack throughout the day. Do not let my physical image fool you.
19. I have the need to be early to appointments, gatherings, etc. This desire probably stems from many different past events.
20. My love language to others is giving while I perceive time with others as my receiving love language.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
Homebody
I am now coming home from a work trip, one I did not want to go on and had been dreading its arrival since I knew I would be going. I did not want to be away from home and away from Darren. Our calendar has been filling up and free weekends at home together are scarce. I kept thinking about how we are still in our first year of marriage and I was losing out on time together. I knew that the weekend would be claimed by housework and making meals but it was also some us time and even a few naps. Then I just realized that I might be a homebody. I prefer to be at home, our home, to sleep in the bed we share, have everything I need at my disposal and to coexist even with our separate activities. I like being in a home that is being transformed for us, that makes me feel beyond comfortable.
I went back to the bend recently and was asked by family if we would be staying in town for the night, only replying that this would be a day trip for us. I have fought so hard refusing to make Indy my home and this construction mess a place to live in. But the time came and I realized that I have a home it has become my home, as much as I have found refuge in my parents home it is no longer mine. It can no longer protect me from growing up. It is a place to visit, but for me, it currently is not a place for me/us to stay. It does not hold the comfort it used to, while the great memories are still with me it is not my home.
I prefer our bed, my pillow, our bathroom, my towels. I rather be at home than out on the town, I find serenity in keeping up the house. And mostly I enjoy being with Darren, I rather travel with him and share a bed with him. There is comfort and warmth when we share a bed, it reminds me how grateful I am for the blessings that we have been given, the love and hope. I would still like our house to be anywhere else that is 80plus degrees on a daily basis but this will more than do until then-my home is with Darren. As is our vows, "let my arms be your shelter, and my heart your home"- and it is.
I went back to the bend recently and was asked by family if we would be staying in town for the night, only replying that this would be a day trip for us. I have fought so hard refusing to make Indy my home and this construction mess a place to live in. But the time came and I realized that I have a home it has become my home, as much as I have found refuge in my parents home it is no longer mine. It can no longer protect me from growing up. It is a place to visit, but for me, it currently is not a place for me/us to stay. It does not hold the comfort it used to, while the great memories are still with me it is not my home.
I prefer our bed, my pillow, our bathroom, my towels. I rather be at home than out on the town, I find serenity in keeping up the house. And mostly I enjoy being with Darren, I rather travel with him and share a bed with him. There is comfort and warmth when we share a bed, it reminds me how grateful I am for the blessings that we have been given, the love and hope. I would still like our house to be anywhere else that is 80plus degrees on a daily basis but this will more than do until then-my home is with Darren. As is our vows, "let my arms be your shelter, and my heart your home"- and it is.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Husband
Have I told you how much I LOVE my husband. He can get frustrated, be messy, unorganized, and really busy at times. He can be funny at times, he has a great laughing cackle, a beautiful smile, we can be goofs together, hard worker, great provider, he does his best to take care of us even when both feel ill, he has a big heart and is a strong person all together. He is a wonderful man.
I always call Darren by his name and not "husband," it's just one of those things even when I talk to people I just assume they know he is my counter part. Darren likes to call me his wife, he likes to say it aloud even if it's just the two of us. And recently it feels good. I am beginning to make this a part of my identity. But mostly I am so very proud, happy, blessed that this is who I am and that I have Darren. Life as husband and wife is not at all bad- its busy, grand, exciting, full of greatness, blessings and love. The bigger picture of what I can see in this relationship/marriage is so beautiful. This is what God intended and I am so happy for us, our story and what's to come.
I always call Darren by his name and not "husband," it's just one of those things even when I talk to people I just assume they know he is my counter part. Darren likes to call me his wife, he likes to say it aloud even if it's just the two of us. And recently it feels good. I am beginning to make this a part of my identity. But mostly I am so very proud, happy, blessed that this is who I am and that I have Darren. Life as husband and wife is not at all bad- its busy, grand, exciting, full of greatness, blessings and love. The bigger picture of what I can see in this relationship/marriage is so beautiful. This is what God intended and I am so happy for us, our story and what's to come.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
21
If my 21 year old self could see me now. I was thinking about this on my way home the other night and it made me laugh and smile. It made me laugh because I had this plan on how I was going to live after heartbreak, dating again and my ideas on it, my life plan and knowing I was about to take one of the greatest adventures on by going to school 12 hours away from home. I had embraced this headstrong personality that made me feel like I had the best life plan for myself. I was aboard my own train to greatness based on my outlook on life and what I planned to become.
If my 21 year old self could see me now, she would be slightly disgusted but relieved that I regained the ability to love another so deeply and unconditionally and allow him to love me back. She would grimace at the idea of planning a wedding, but so glad that we did not take it overboard. She would laugh at us looking at the price of items before purchasing, using coupons even if it got to the lowest price. She would worry for me even more than my present self does about starting a family. But also about the same things like being healthy, watchful, making time for myself and my family, not missing out on the greatness of life and living, losing sleep and all the what ifs that might occur that comes with the challenge.
My 21 year old self would be beyond proud that I have taken control of my health by being careful of what I put into my body while still enjoying my favorite treats. That even when I thought I hated running, as a grown woman I have found the outlet for my stress and anxiety. I would thank myself for being much more conscious of taking care of myself and giving it all I can to have a healthier body and finding my outer strength.
My 21 year old self would be glad that I resist the possibility to settle, that even though my dream career has not occurred I would see that it's okay to not know what I want to be when a grow up and even more that I am still holding myself to a higher standard and refuse to stop learning, growing and being challenged.
She would be so pleased that I did not lose my faith, that I am finding my way back to God and finding time to talk to him about it all.
She may not understand it all but she would be glad that I managed to forget how old I am, keep my morals, beliefs, values and maintain great realationships- she would be ecstatic that even though this is not my 21 year old plan or my 24 year old plan, this life is beyond wonderful, blessed, and in just about every way so much more better.
If my 21 year old self could see me now, she would be slightly disgusted but relieved that I regained the ability to love another so deeply and unconditionally and allow him to love me back. She would grimace at the idea of planning a wedding, but so glad that we did not take it overboard. She would laugh at us looking at the price of items before purchasing, using coupons even if it got to the lowest price. She would worry for me even more than my present self does about starting a family. But also about the same things like being healthy, watchful, making time for myself and my family, not missing out on the greatness of life and living, losing sleep and all the what ifs that might occur that comes with the challenge.
My 21 year old self would be beyond proud that I have taken control of my health by being careful of what I put into my body while still enjoying my favorite treats. That even when I thought I hated running, as a grown woman I have found the outlet for my stress and anxiety. I would thank myself for being much more conscious of taking care of myself and giving it all I can to have a healthier body and finding my outer strength.
My 21 year old self would be glad that I resist the possibility to settle, that even though my dream career has not occurred I would see that it's okay to not know what I want to be when a grow up and even more that I am still holding myself to a higher standard and refuse to stop learning, growing and being challenged.
She would be so pleased that I did not lose my faith, that I am finding my way back to God and finding time to talk to him about it all.
She may not understand it all but she would be glad that I managed to forget how old I am, keep my morals, beliefs, values and maintain great realationships- she would be ecstatic that even though this is not my 21 year old plan or my 24 year old plan, this life is beyond wonderful, blessed, and in just about every way so much more better.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Time
A couple days ago I decided it was time. Time to let go of my wild side that I lived in regards to being just a youthful woman with no worries and no true adult responsibilities. I removed my belly button ring, stepping out of the shower and coming to terms with my body changing since I have been slowly putting on some weight, I decided it was just time to let it go. I can remember the moments that led up to the decision that I was going to plunge and give in to doing this. I was life guarding, a fellow coworker and I had been talking about it and finally we decided that after all the talk we would go and have it done after work that night. I had been in a tattoo shop before but never say on one of the tables, remember my friend went first and they tried to get her to scare me. She did not. In less than a half hour we were newly pierced and flashing it in our lifeguard suits the next day. Don't worry we watched them like hawks to make sure it was all in sterile pouches. Even my wild side is always careful.
In that time I felt empowered, making a grown up decision and following through with something that I wanted. As time has passed by I have kinda forgotten about it, I cleaned it from time to time, a summer later I worked the pools again and since then on rare occasions. Time has allowed me to grow and evolve. What a great ride.
In that time I felt empowered, making a grown up decision and following through with something that I wanted. As time has passed by I have kinda forgotten about it, I cleaned it from time to time, a summer later I worked the pools again and since then on rare occasions. Time has allowed me to grow and evolve. What a great ride.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Saturday January 28, 2012
I keep thinking how blessed I am, we are. Waiting around today for my parents and younger siblings to arrive. I am looking around our home, the saw dust, pantry items in the living room, papers semi organized on our kitchen table, tools everywhere. But still a blessing. All the things I never thought I wanted I have and I am so grateful. I am grateful for a wonderful growing marriage, a beautiful home that Darren has torn inside out to make ours, the mess- because it means we are living our lives and doing something for ourselves and our future. It's been a long time since I have noticed any change in myself and my outlook on life but this difference that I feel on the inside and hope I project in my words and actions feels amazing. I cannot wait to see and experience what lies in front of us and how a year from now, how much more changed and great life will continue to become. I hope my patience continues to grow, my gratitude expressed, and ready for the adventure in front of us. I am ready to take on the challenges and make some of the best memories and learning experiences.
No need to wait for a special occasion, I don't want to miss out on today. Life is too short, use your good dishes every night.
No need to wait for a special occasion, I don't want to miss out on today. Life is too short, use your good dishes every night.
Monday, January 23, 2012
184 days
Or six months, either way you look at it we have made it half way through our first year of marriage. Life has changed slightly, our emotions and thoughts have evolved to think of the other in all aspects of life. We talk about all sorts of things, are learning how to laugh at ourselves loudly, finding out other ways to meet each others needs and I am working on giving in his love language.
This is the most fun. We have vacationed, celebrated, I have cried and come back with renewed strength and a greater outlook on ways to work on making this relationship better. Even in the midst of some misunderstandings, some struggle, and fear.
I always believed that I would be in a monogomous relationship, that I would share my life with one man, my dreams, hopes and adventures but never did I see this. This love, it's been more than just giving in to marriage. It has been giving of myself and each other to be there and walk through the journey that God has for us.
I am most excited to see how many more changes are to come in the next 6 months. To see our lives evolve and for the unexpected that will ground us further in our lives.
This is the most fun. We have vacationed, celebrated, I have cried and come back with renewed strength and a greater outlook on ways to work on making this relationship better. Even in the midst of some misunderstandings, some struggle, and fear.
I always believed that I would be in a monogomous relationship, that I would share my life with one man, my dreams, hopes and adventures but never did I see this. This love, it's been more than just giving in to marriage. It has been giving of myself and each other to be there and walk through the journey that God has for us.
I am most excited to see how many more changes are to come in the next 6 months. To see our lives evolve and for the unexpected that will ground us further in our lives.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Thinking
I have been thinking about a lot of things, shocker, I know. I think I have an addiction, to pinterest. Thanks Amy! I have been finding new recipes, and so much more. Like collecting thoughts on a babies room, a baby that does not exist, finding quotes that would help as a child or as a parent, cool gadgets that might make things easier, and some seriously stylish duds for a little one. It's exciting and scary looking through baby items.
Another scary thing, winter has not truly arrived. No big snow and the temperature has been mostly reasonable. I am not a cold weather person, I rather live in the season of summer all year long. I am not ready for what might come. But I am ready for spring break with Darren.
I am still working on updating my wardrobe. After successfully removing clothing from my closet that I have not worn or does not fit appropriately. Although my clothes bin/workout and t-shirts and dresser still need to be evaluated for further removal of items I can live without so that I can continue to purchase everyday, chic, fitted pieces that display me and my wiser self. I am realizing that I love my barely boot cut jeans from Express, they fit great, durable and versatile. I am still working on becoming more of a fan of my trouser jeans- work in progress as I am figuring out how I like them with with my shoe collection. My shoes have to be cleaned out too, I did throw away a pair of my favorite flats from Banana Republic, it was sad but necessary. I need shoes with arch support, but still stylish.
More to come on whats in store.
Another scary thing, winter has not truly arrived. No big snow and the temperature has been mostly reasonable. I am not a cold weather person, I rather live in the season of summer all year long. I am not ready for what might come. But I am ready for spring break with Darren.
I am still working on updating my wardrobe. After successfully removing clothing from my closet that I have not worn or does not fit appropriately. Although my clothes bin/workout and t-shirts and dresser still need to be evaluated for further removal of items I can live without so that I can continue to purchase everyday, chic, fitted pieces that display me and my wiser self. I am realizing that I love my barely boot cut jeans from Express, they fit great, durable and versatile. I am still working on becoming more of a fan of my trouser jeans- work in progress as I am figuring out how I like them with with my shoe collection. My shoes have to be cleaned out too, I did throw away a pair of my favorite flats from Banana Republic, it was sad but necessary. I need shoes with arch support, but still stylish.
More to come on whats in store.
Monday, January 9, 2012
Some reflection
Right now I feel...
Elated in how much a couple days since beginning the new year had helped me refocus on the important parts of life and living it justly.
What I am grateful for in 2011:
* Family: being a daughter, sister, aunt, wife and the expansion of my family with my in-laws(a huge blessing)
* Taking the steps in marriage, I would do it all over again! And maybe Darren will jump to answer before the pastor finishes his sentence-great Ice breaker
* The ability to maintain friendships even with distance, made new friendships and working on moving forward from others
* Being able to travel, Florida, Canada, cruise- it was all so great.
* Making ladies night each month- catching up and being in great company
* Having a job
* Seeing our home transform and the ability to upgrade to our liking
What I learned in 2011?
* That I can plan anything
* I have a higher stress level than I knew but learned the importance of leaving it at home and talking things out at home
* I am growing still and this is a great thing
* Over thinking gets me nowhere
* I have such a great support team in family and friends
* Getting my way no longer exists(unless I am with my dad), relationships are about 2people and compromise
In 2012 I choose to feel:
Joyful, glad, and positive even in the midst of stress and personal struggle.
What am I joyfully anticipating in 2012?
* the finishing touches on our home and some re-organization
* new adventures
* slumber parties
* planning for the future
* seeing my family and friends more and often
* an outstanding, challenging, rewarding career
* weekend getaways
* hosting get togethers at our home
* becoming a better couponer
* and Darren to finally agree to let me wax his chest, long shot but still fun and funny
I found this reflect on 2011 create 2012 format through pinterest link
Elated in how much a couple days since beginning the new year had helped me refocus on the important parts of life and living it justly.
What I am grateful for in 2011:
* Family: being a daughter, sister, aunt, wife and the expansion of my family with my in-laws(a huge blessing)
* Taking the steps in marriage, I would do it all over again! And maybe Darren will jump to answer before the pastor finishes his sentence-great Ice breaker
* The ability to maintain friendships even with distance, made new friendships and working on moving forward from others
* Being able to travel, Florida, Canada, cruise- it was all so great.
* Making ladies night each month- catching up and being in great company
* Having a job
* Seeing our home transform and the ability to upgrade to our liking
What I learned in 2011?
* That I can plan anything
* I have a higher stress level than I knew but learned the importance of leaving it at home and talking things out at home
* I am growing still and this is a great thing
* Over thinking gets me nowhere
* I have such a great support team in family and friends
* Getting my way no longer exists(unless I am with my dad), relationships are about 2people and compromise
In 2012 I choose to feel:
Joyful, glad, and positive even in the midst of stress and personal struggle.
What am I joyfully anticipating in 2012?
* the finishing touches on our home and some re-organization
* new adventures
* slumber parties
* planning for the future
* seeing my family and friends more and often
* an outstanding, challenging, rewarding career
* weekend getaways
* hosting get togethers at our home
* becoming a better couponer
* and Darren to finally agree to let me wax his chest, long shot but still fun and funny
I found this reflect on 2011 create 2012 format through pinterest link
Sunday, January 1, 2012
2012
I am unsure what this year will bring. I am uncertain what emotional rollercoaster I will be riding. I hope to take control of who I am, that I will be a better me, I will continue to work towards my goal of a career, making my friendships a priority while spending more time with my family. I want to lead a less stress life.
Today I began cleaning out my closet, removing items that do not fit or I have not worn in a long time in order to upgrade my wardrobe. I want to remove the unnecessary and be more organized.
I want to celebrate life, myself my family and friends. Last night was yet another reason why I miss being around people. Life is supposed to be great and enjoyed with others.
I anticipate that my hard work will show up in the happiness I feel.
Today I began cleaning out my closet, removing items that do not fit or I have not worn in a long time in order to upgrade my wardrobe. I want to remove the unnecessary and be more organized.
I want to celebrate life, myself my family and friends. Last night was yet another reason why I miss being around people. Life is supposed to be great and enjoyed with others.
I anticipate that my hard work will show up in the happiness I feel.
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