Have I told you how much I LOVE my husband. He can get frustrated, be messy, unorganized, and really busy at times. He can be funny at times, he has a great laughing cackle, a beautiful smile, we can be goofs together, hard worker, great provider, he does his best to take care of us even when both feel ill, he has a big heart and is a strong person all together. He is a wonderful man.
I always call Darren by his name and not "husband," it's just one of those things even when I talk to people I just assume they know he is my counter part. Darren likes to call me his wife, he likes to say it aloud even if it's just the two of us. And recently it feels good. I am beginning to make this a part of my identity. But mostly I am so very proud, happy, blessed that this is who I am and that I have Darren. Life as husband and wife is not at all bad- its busy, grand, exciting, full of greatness, blessings and love. The bigger picture of what I can see in this relationship/marriage is so beautiful. This is what God intended and I am so happy for us, our story and what's to come.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
21
If my 21 year old self could see me now. I was thinking about this on my way home the other night and it made me laugh and smile. It made me laugh because I had this plan on how I was going to live after heartbreak, dating again and my ideas on it, my life plan and knowing I was about to take one of the greatest adventures on by going to school 12 hours away from home. I had embraced this headstrong personality that made me feel like I had the best life plan for myself. I was aboard my own train to greatness based on my outlook on life and what I planned to become.
If my 21 year old self could see me now, she would be slightly disgusted but relieved that I regained the ability to love another so deeply and unconditionally and allow him to love me back. She would grimace at the idea of planning a wedding, but so glad that we did not take it overboard. She would laugh at us looking at the price of items before purchasing, using coupons even if it got to the lowest price. She would worry for me even more than my present self does about starting a family. But also about the same things like being healthy, watchful, making time for myself and my family, not missing out on the greatness of life and living, losing sleep and all the what ifs that might occur that comes with the challenge.
My 21 year old self would be beyond proud that I have taken control of my health by being careful of what I put into my body while still enjoying my favorite treats. That even when I thought I hated running, as a grown woman I have found the outlet for my stress and anxiety. I would thank myself for being much more conscious of taking care of myself and giving it all I can to have a healthier body and finding my outer strength.
My 21 year old self would be glad that I resist the possibility to settle, that even though my dream career has not occurred I would see that it's okay to not know what I want to be when a grow up and even more that I am still holding myself to a higher standard and refuse to stop learning, growing and being challenged.
She would be so pleased that I did not lose my faith, that I am finding my way back to God and finding time to talk to him about it all.
She may not understand it all but she would be glad that I managed to forget how old I am, keep my morals, beliefs, values and maintain great realationships- she would be ecstatic that even though this is not my 21 year old plan or my 24 year old plan, this life is beyond wonderful, blessed, and in just about every way so much more better.
If my 21 year old self could see me now, she would be slightly disgusted but relieved that I regained the ability to love another so deeply and unconditionally and allow him to love me back. She would grimace at the idea of planning a wedding, but so glad that we did not take it overboard. She would laugh at us looking at the price of items before purchasing, using coupons even if it got to the lowest price. She would worry for me even more than my present self does about starting a family. But also about the same things like being healthy, watchful, making time for myself and my family, not missing out on the greatness of life and living, losing sleep and all the what ifs that might occur that comes with the challenge.
My 21 year old self would be beyond proud that I have taken control of my health by being careful of what I put into my body while still enjoying my favorite treats. That even when I thought I hated running, as a grown woman I have found the outlet for my stress and anxiety. I would thank myself for being much more conscious of taking care of myself and giving it all I can to have a healthier body and finding my outer strength.
My 21 year old self would be glad that I resist the possibility to settle, that even though my dream career has not occurred I would see that it's okay to not know what I want to be when a grow up and even more that I am still holding myself to a higher standard and refuse to stop learning, growing and being challenged.
She would be so pleased that I did not lose my faith, that I am finding my way back to God and finding time to talk to him about it all.
She may not understand it all but she would be glad that I managed to forget how old I am, keep my morals, beliefs, values and maintain great realationships- she would be ecstatic that even though this is not my 21 year old plan or my 24 year old plan, this life is beyond wonderful, blessed, and in just about every way so much more better.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Time
A couple days ago I decided it was time. Time to let go of my wild side that I lived in regards to being just a youthful woman with no worries and no true adult responsibilities. I removed my belly button ring, stepping out of the shower and coming to terms with my body changing since I have been slowly putting on some weight, I decided it was just time to let it go. I can remember the moments that led up to the decision that I was going to plunge and give in to doing this. I was life guarding, a fellow coworker and I had been talking about it and finally we decided that after all the talk we would go and have it done after work that night. I had been in a tattoo shop before but never say on one of the tables, remember my friend went first and they tried to get her to scare me. She did not. In less than a half hour we were newly pierced and flashing it in our lifeguard suits the next day. Don't worry we watched them like hawks to make sure it was all in sterile pouches. Even my wild side is always careful.
In that time I felt empowered, making a grown up decision and following through with something that I wanted. As time has passed by I have kinda forgotten about it, I cleaned it from time to time, a summer later I worked the pools again and since then on rare occasions. Time has allowed me to grow and evolve. What a great ride.
In that time I felt empowered, making a grown up decision and following through with something that I wanted. As time has passed by I have kinda forgotten about it, I cleaned it from time to time, a summer later I worked the pools again and since then on rare occasions. Time has allowed me to grow and evolve. What a great ride.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)