recently...

I know its been way too long, but this is what I have been up to...

We visited with Shana and the boys, always an adventure and time to catch up.

We only had one nephew at the Easter Egg Hunt, and Caleb seemed to enjoy himself.

I went to the Bend for family time/ bridal shower.  I love my niece, even if at times I had to bribe her with food, generally going for fruit snacks and my entire cupcake-she refused to share.  She truly has a personality now.  She is palying with her Easter bag and Eze's.

We had ice cream cake~ my fave!

And their were gifts, cards, and well wishes as we continue on our journey to marriage.

After being up since 7am, at 8pm I was toast. Drinks were in order.

On occassion we have a set of ducks that come to the house to be fed by Darren.

Just this past weekend I spent time with some great ladies for Alumnae training at the Purdue Phi Mu house.  I gained tons of valuable knowledge and hope to incorporate some into our Alumnae chapter in the coming years.

Another busy weekend to come, and hopefully more to show and say in the coming days.

Growth

Ever feel lost and overwhelmed? Just overworked and before you know it the exhaustion hits you. It takes over when you least expect it to, when you think the moment has passed, the point of feeling lost has gone away- and then the moment of true relief comes.  It come in a teary hello, a heartbreaking well of tears.  The hugs and love that you long for are with you all along but you forget until you feel it squeeze and hold you up.  
That's the feeling I get when I have had a long, tiring day.  Even the things that are enjoyable can overwhelm me.  In the end it steers it's head at me and let's me know I have had enough.  I have met my match, emotionally & physically.  I have put too much of me into a more than me project.  I have invested more than I had to begin with, it's time to let it out & let it go.  
It's been an exceptionally tough week for me.  Fighting for who I am, want to be and the way I live my life.  
For as long as I can remember I have known what I wanted for myself-expectations, goals, desires.  I lived for me, my mindset has been on becoming a stronger, better me.  A me that was beyond the greatness that I knew.  So when life made a major detour and has become about more than just my future I found my greatest struggle.  Turning a me and my desires into an us and our plans.  I never thought about the what if's, I  was okay with imagining a life on my own and the freedom of picking and choosing what was good was a relief.  It's hard, even after 3 years, to think in any other way.  Some things come easy while choosing my battles has become a tough place.  Somehow at the end of it all I just need to feel the warmth, the human in me and realize that life is about changing, evolving, adapting, accepting, listening and loving.  It's the way to move on and grow.