Learning

So the last couple of days I have had plenty of time to think.  I have had the opportunity to realize a few things about myself that I did not know until recently and have had time to also digest them and working towards becoming a better person.

* I have some OCd'ish tendencies: with this I have realized that while Darren is more laid back I like things done, not to sit and let the mess pile up or assume the dishes will somehow walk into the dishwasher.

* I pay my bills, the 2 I have and put them in a pile instead of filing right away.

* I become easily frustrated when things do not go the way they should (my way), there are 2 people in this relationship and I have to learn his habits and figure out what works best for us.

* I like to talk, I mean talk and discuss subjects that are important to me while not raising my voice because that would get the conversation nowhere.  When I am not heard that is actually even more frustrating.  We react differently to certain topics.

* I need to work on thinking that each morning I wake is going to be a great day, a blessing.  I have a particular patients mom who always seems to make things harder and usually wrecks my day.  Last week I tested my thoughts and in the end she actually did not argue with me, atleast not to the extent that she usually does, while I tried to talk to her and help. 

* I miss my babies, and by babies I mean Edina and Eze.  I get to do fun things with them like water balloon fights, cook more meals than usual and do crafty things.

* I need to work on my recipe searching skills.  Darren eats the basic meals, just about anything with chicken, turkey dogs, hamburgers, tacos and pizza.  I need to find ways to evolve those basics because eating chicken 3 times a week can get old if its in a similar way.

* I need to make more time for my family and friends.  I have realized that some relationships have fallen by the wayside as I have moved away from home.  And I dread travel unless Darren is driving.

* While I am organized when it comes to the everyday things I need to work on organizing my photographs.  My images throughout my life are in boxes by categories but then are not in any type of chronological order so I hope to tackle this huge project soon.

On another note, Darren and I have almost been together for 2 years.  While it seems a whole lot longer, in a good way, its also a new adventure and experience as neither one of us has spent so much time with another and shared space in previous relationships.  While I can talk to him about anything that bothers me or that I am thinking I have also found just how differently we were raised.  I find it easy to take charge and do things while Darren did not have things he had to do in house.  I never had chores but things that needed to get done I helped with and found most tasks easy to conquer.  BUT I do BELIEVe that all things that need done take each person to complete and should be SHARED.  Each person has to do their part, we are currently working on this.  I have found that even though I am in this relationship that I do not need him to accompany me to all events or trips to see family and/friends.  I stand on my own 2 feet quite fine by myself.  And it definitely gets tiring when my family asks where Darren is, that gets old before the first person even asks.  I like doing things for another person who appreciates the time that I took and effort.  I made Darren's birthday gift last year and scrapbooks for all of our images (by hand, yes I just patted myself on the back), making his Easter basket.  Its nice to know that the small things that I do for him make me just as happy.