Sunday, January 24, 2010

thinking

I think too much. Very pensive about anything and everything in my life. From the present situations with life, school, moving and so forth and then I caught myself at church today, thinking about aging. I guess it never really occurred to me until I was looking at an older woman of the congregation, not sure how old but I looked at her hands. I guess Hispanic people lose there color, there is a mix of light skin and almost like dots, different circular shapes that are darker. Is that what will happen to me, will the melanin of my skin just give up.
I am thinking about the next move, whenever it gets all figured out. I DO NOT like packing, DO NOT like carrying heavy boxes and DO NOT like getting re-situated. But it has to happen and in the end will make life slightly easier. I did decide that no box will be too heavy that I by myself cannot carry it. Currently I have been hauling about 4-6 different size boxes that my co-workers set aside. PS Magazine paper does not cushion the way newspaper does, go figure.
I am thinking about how I about to become an aunt, a biological aunt. How my sister's life is about to change drastically and she is excited. Plus we did buy all that great baby clothes in November anticipating her arrival. How my role is an aunt is going to be very different from the roles that my aunts have been in my life because we all lived in the same city and I grew up in most of their homes.
I am thinking about school. How I rush myself, I get anxious and not in a good way. I stress it and then over-prepare and also under-prepare. And what am I thinking, of course I want to do this for me but also I am 25 and still have yet to obtain the goals of greatness with the knowledge of my first degree. But they can be accomplished together and at different paces. Right?!
I am thinking that I do not want to get caught up in the things that other people get caught up in. I want to take each day and tackle it. I want to breathe easier and not like I am rushing through life. I want to multi-task without over-working myself. I do not want to find myself in a position of being burned out.
I am thinking about the best remedy for exhaustion when I cannot sleep well or can only take short "power" naps because that is all my body will allow me. And also the best beverage in regards to waking up. I rarely have caffeine or flavored drinks. Almost always with a bottle of water at hand. But that does not really get me going. Finding the best sleep cycle may help. Taking it easy, as it comes, and getting back to a gym routine may help it all. PS a new Ipod will need to be in the works with that as well. MOM!!!!!!

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